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Bill Cosby Jokes

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What does Bill Cosby’s penis look like?

Blurry.

Bill Cosby was a great comedian...

even his drinks tasted funny.

What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

How did bill Cosby celebrate after getting out of jail

He went to a bar and bought everyone drinks

What do you call it when Bill Cosby attacks an immigrant?

Alien vs. Predator

My girlfriend started reading Bill Cosby's biography...

But it put her to sleep.

How is Santa like Bill Cosby?

Neither will come if you're awake.

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Why does Bill Cosby cry during sex?

Pepper spray.

My girlfriend had dinner with Bill Cosby last night

He bought the food she covered the drinks.

I had a joke about drinking with Bill Cosby last night

But I can't remember what happened.

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I heard Bill Cosby made a sex tape....

Twice as strong as duct tape.

I have an idea of a game show with Bill Cosby as the host.

It's called "You Snooze, You Lose."

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What do Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a small fencing sword?

One's a little rapier...

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?

You have to be asleep before they can slide down the chimney

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Did you know Bill Cosby loves pudding?

Pudding his dick where it doesn't belong

Whats Bill Cosbys favorite disney character?

Sleeping beauty

We had a Bill Cosby thunderstorm recently

The kind that comes while you're asleep

Bill Cosby

University of Michigan is pleased to announce a gift from the Cosby family for the new school to be names in his honor.

The Sleep Studies Center for women.

Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar...

I don’t remember the rest.

What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both explored the unconscious.

Jell-o has officially cut all ties with Bill Cosby.

They said the proof was in the pudding.

Bill Cosby just moved in next door

He’s been on top of the house replacing broken shingles, and fixing leaks. Turns out he’s a very experienced roofer

Bill Cosby walks out of prison...

..and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.

He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.

What's the difference between a drug dealer and Bill Cosby?

When you meet a dealer in a secluded area, you have to pay for the drugs.

How does a girl greet Bill Cosby on their second date?

"Hey Bill, nice to meet you."

So Bill Cosby gets off.

This time without barbiturates.

Did you hear Bill Cosby’s publishing a memoir?

It’s titled “the Coma Sutra.”

Bill Cosby jokes are perfect for reposting

No one remembers their first time hearing them

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink

What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house?

Netflix and pill

Bill Cosby enters in a bar ...

... i don't know what happens next because I suddenly woke up in a motel's room.

Bill Cosby's lawyer fell asleep during testimony...

Apparently he and Bill had a lunch date earlier.

Why did Bill Cosby get hit with contempt of court?

He was accused of quaaluding with the jury.

Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby are chatting...

Cosby: Have you ever had a cigar dipped in brandy?

Clinton: No, but I once had a cigar dipped in Monica.

Cosby: Now, why didn't I think of that...

If Bill Cosby is America's dad...

Does that make him Canada's creepy uncle?

Bill Cosby and a surgeon have a lot in common

For example, they both want the person that they are inside to be unconscious

My Bill Cosby impression isn’t that entertaining.

It puts everyone to sleep.

Bill Cosby would have been totally cleared..

had he run for President

Yo mama is so ugly

Bill Cosby gave her a roofie-less drink.

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Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault

I guess the proof was in the pudding

So Bill Cosby was released from prison, and now I hear he's getting his own television show?

Women Say the Darndest Things.

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Bill Cosby

Ask your friend "Would you have sex with Bill Cosby." hopefully your friend says no then you respond with "Too bad you don't have a choice."

I wish Bill Cosby was president

It would really help me sleep at night

Some people are suggesting that Bill Cosby should have his honourary doctorate taken away.

But the man successfully anesthetized over 50 women, countless times. If anything he has done more to earn the title ”doctor" than ever before.

Bill Cosby was one of the greatest boxers...

He got 20 ko's and didn't even fight!

A 22 rifle is a Lot like Bill Cosby

A Lot of people grew up with it without knowing What it coud do to a person in close quarters

Unpopular opinion: I always liked Bill Cosby

He rubbed my sister the wrong way though

This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby.

When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.

Garrison Keillor is twice the entertainer that Bill Cosby is.

Keillor even puts the men to sleep.

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I would rather have Bill Cosby as President than Donald Trump..

because if America is gonna get fucked for 4 years I wanna be asleep when it happens.

Is it too soon for Bill Cosby jokes?

Yeah, best to avoid Cosby punch lines.

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs

Bill Cosby's business card...

Sorry I missed you, I was in while you were out.

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

I went to meet Bill Cosby and Clark Gable for a drink...

I forget the rest of the story...

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Sex with Bill Cosby is like watching Ghost Dad.

You'll fall asleep two minutes in, and won't want to admit it happened for the next 30 years.

Do you remember that time you met Bill Cosby?

No?

Add another one to the list!

If Bill Cosby and Donald Trump had a TV show, it would be called

“Grab em By The Pudding”

So Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Bill Nye all walk into a bar...

They all finish their drinks and Nye says to the lady behind the bar I'll cover the tab these two will give you their tips.

My mom never liked Bill Cosby's jokes.

She says they put her to sleep.

Who would win in a fight between Bill Cosby and Cardi B?

Whoever drank last.

How is a Bill Cosby better than Ronda Rousey?

He's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.

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What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby?

One is still dicking bimbos while the other was dicking still bimbos.

What did Bill Cosby do for Single moms on Mother’s Day?

I tried asking them but they couldn’t remember

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Bill Cosby went hunting

Bill Cosby went hunting in the mountains with his banker and lawyer, but their car broke down on the return trip. While hiking back to civilization, they came across a very small farmhouse, and asked to use the phone. The local towing company couldn't do anything until the next day, but the farmer g...

Yale is rescinding Bill Cosby’s honorary degree.

He still has his Doctorate of Applied Pharmaceuticals to fall back on.

Bill Cosby may no longer be one of the Greats

But at least he'll always be known for his rapier wit.

What's Bill Cosby's New Favorite Snack?

Jail-O

In deference to his fame, Bill Cosby was jailed under a pseudonym.

There he is only known as 'Ben Dover'.

Why is Bill Cosby so good at Fantasy drafts?

He always nails the sleepers

Apparently Bill Cosby is getting pudding with his first meal in prison.

He's finally receiving his just desserts.

What do you call Bill Cosby when he gets moved to gen. pop.?

Fill Cosby

Bill Cosby may have been convicted, sentenced to prison, and end up bankrupt...

But at least he'll always have a roofie over his head.

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A prison guard gives Bill Cosby and opportunity...

After several brutal years in prison, Bill Cosby is approached by a prison guard who presents him with what seems like a great opportunity.

"Bill," he says, "you've demonstrated good behavior in here for the past couple years despite all the harassment from the other inmates. I know it must n...

What do mitochondria, Bill Cosby, and my friend Clint all have in common?

They're all incels.

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