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Cosby Jokes

Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar...

I don’t remember the rest.
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How is Santa like Bill Cosby?

Neither will come if you're awake.
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How did bill Cosby celebrate after getting out of jail

He went to a bar and bought everyone drinks
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Bill Cosby enters in a bar ...

... i don't know what happens next because I suddenly woke up in a motel's room.
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What kind of doctor was Dr. Huxtable on the Cosby Show?

Anesthesiologist
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What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?

You have to be asleep before they can slide down the chimney
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What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a small fencing sword?

One's a little rapier...
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My favorite Norm Macdonald joke

(I’m paraphrasing a bit)

Someone told me that the worst thing about the whole Cosby thing was the hypocrisy. I disagreed.

I thought it was the raping.


—————-
RIP you magnificent bastard.

(Edit: formatting)

My girlfriend started reading Bill Cosby's biography...

But it put her to sleep.
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Bill Cosby just moved in next door

He’s been on top of the house replacing broken shingles, and fixing leaks. Turns out he’s a very experienced roofer
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Why does Bill Cosby cry during sex?

Pepper spray.

Bill Cosby walks out of prison...

..and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.

He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.
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Bill Cosby

University of Michigan is pleased to announce a gift from the Cosby family for the new school to be names in his honor.

The Sleep Studies Center for women.
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Whats Bill Cosbys favorite disney character?

Sleeping beauty
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What's the difference between a drug dealer and Bill Cosby?

When you meet a dealer in a secluded area, you have to pay for the drugs.
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How does a girl greet Bill Cosby on their second date?

"Hey Bill, nice to meet you."
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I have an idea of a game show with Bill Cosby as the host.

It's called "You Snooze, You Lose."
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Want to hear a Cosby joke?

Wait ... I told it wrong. I wasn't supposed to ask for consent.
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Did you know Bill Cosby loves pudding?

Pudding his dick where it doesn't belong

Bill Cosby was a great comedian...

even his drinks tasted funny.
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So Bill Cosby gets off.

This time without barbiturates.
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I had a joke about drinking with Bill Cosby last night

But I can't remember what happened.
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When Bill Cosby passes away I'm going to dress as his final resting place for Halloween.

I hope my Cos Tomb gets compliments.
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What do Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

My Bill Cosby impression isn’t that entertaining.

It puts everyone to sleep.
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Yo mama is so ugly

Bill Cosby gave her a roofie-less drink.
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Bill Cosby would have been totally cleared..

had he run for President
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Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby are chatting...

Cosby: Have you ever had a cigar dipped in brandy?

Clinton: No, but I once had a cigar dipped in Monica.

Cosby: Now, why didn't I think of that...
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What does Bill Cosby’s penis look like?

Blurry.

Why did Bill Cosby get hit with contempt of court?

He was accused of quaaluding with the jury.
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I would rather have Bill Cosby as President than Donald Trump..

because if America is gonna get fucked for 4 years I wanna be asleep when it happens.

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I heard Bill Cosby made a sex tape....

Twice as strong as duct tape.

Bill Cosby's lawyer fell asleep during testimony...

Apparently he and Bill had a lunch date earlier.
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My girlfriend had dinner with Bill Cosby last night

He bought the food she covered the drinks.
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What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both explored the unconscious.
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A prison guard gives Bill Cosby and opportunity...

After several brutal years in prison, Bill Cosby is approached by a prison guard who presents him with what seems like a great opportunity.

"Bill," he says, "you've demonstrated good behavior in here for the past couple years despite all the harassment from the other inmates. I know it must n...

A 22 rifle is a Lot like Bill Cosby

A Lot of people grew up with it without knowing What it coud do to a person in close quarters
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Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault

I guess the proof was in the pudding

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I hear Cosby loves puddin

But he aint going to like it when his cell mate puddin dick up his ass.

If Bill Cosby is America's dad...

Does that make him Canada's creepy uncle?
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We had a Bill Cosby thunderstorm recently

The kind that comes while you're asleep
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What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.
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Bill Cosby

Ask your friend "Would you have sex with Bill Cosby." hopefully your friend says no then you respond with "Too bad you don't have a choice."

So Bill Cosby was released from prison, and now I hear he's getting his own television show?

Women Say the Darndest Things.
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What's the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show?

On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.
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Did you hear Bill Cosby’s publishing a memoir?

It’s titled “the Coma Sutra.”
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I wish Bill Cosby was president

It would really help me sleep at night
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Bill Cosby and a surgeon have a lot in common

For example, they both want the person that they are inside to be unconscious
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What cologne does Bill Cosby wear?

Chloroform
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Cosbys sexual assault case

[removed]

Did y’all hear how they cracked the Cosby case?

The proof was in the pudding
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Bill Cosby jokes are perfect for reposting

No one remembers their first time hearing them
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Unpopular opinion: I always liked Bill Cosby

He rubbed my sister the wrong way though
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What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house?

Netflix and pill
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Jell-o has officially cut all ties with Bill Cosby.

They said the proof was in the pudding.
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What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink
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Bill Cosby went hunting

Bill Cosby went hunting in the mountains with his banker and lawyer, but their car broke down on the return trip. While hiking back to civilization, they came across a very small farmhouse, and asked to use the phone. The local towing company couldn't do anything until the next day, but the farmer g...

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os
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Is it too soon for Bill Cosby jokes?

Yeah, best to avoid Cosby punch lines.
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Bill Cosby's business card...

Sorry I missed you, I was in while you were out.
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This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby.

When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.
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Some people are suggesting that Bill Cosby should have his honourary doctorate taken away.

But the man successfully anesthetized over 50 women, countless times. If anything he has done more to earn the title ”doctor" than ever before.
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Super stoked for the new Cosby Show spin-off...

Pudding it in Cosby.
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Garrison Keillor is twice the entertainer that Bill Cosby is.

Keillor even puts the men to sleep.
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What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)
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Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs
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What do you call it when Bill Cosby attacks an immigrant?

Alien vs. Predator
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My mom never liked Bill Cosby's jokes.

She says they put her to sleep.
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Bill Cosby was one of the greatest boxers...

He got 20 ko's and didn't even fight!
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Yale is rescinding Bill Cosby’s honorary degree.

He still has his Doctorate of Applied Pharmaceuticals to fall back on.
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Who would win in a fight between Bill Cosby and Cardi B?

Whoever drank last.
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How is a Bill Cosby better than Ronda Rousey?

He's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.
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I went to meet Bill Cosby and Clark Gable for a drink...

I forget the rest of the story...
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Sex with Bill Cosby is like watching Ghost Dad.

You'll fall asleep two minutes in, and won't want to admit it happened for the next 30 years.

What did Bill Cosby do for Single moms on Mother’s Day?

I tried asking them but they couldn’t remember
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Why is Bill Cosby so good at Fantasy drafts?

He always nails the sleepers
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What do mitochondria, Bill Cosby, and my friend Clint all have in common?

They're all incels.
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