Arnold Schwarzenegger was going to a fancy dress party dressed as Tchaikovsky

However, when he found out that someone was already dressed as Tchaikovsky, he said "i'll be Bach".

Tchaikovsky, you cannot use instruments of war as musical instruments

Tchaikovsky: I cannon I will

A Soviet composer is looking at his notes in Moscow...

... and a soldier oversees the symbols and assumes he's a spy communicating in a form of code. The composer is arrested and brought to the Gulag where he pleads "Please, it's just Tchaikovsky's violin concerto!". Later that day he is brought to an interrogation room and sits down, a Soviet officer w...

What is the most painful Russian dance?

Tchaikovsky's *The Nutcracker*.

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