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Bear Hunting Jokes

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A man goes bear hunting in the woods

He finds a rather large bear and it spots him. He tries to shoot it but misses. The bear swats the gun out of his hands and throws him to the ground. Then rips his pants off and fucks him in the ass.

A few days later the now very sore hunter comes back with a much larger rifle and attempts to...

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Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting.

He traveled
up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on
his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.


The black bear said, “That was a very bad mistake. That bear is my cousin, I’m going to give you two choices. Either I mau...

A guy is going bear hunting.

He brings his friend and his dog. The friend asks why he brings the dog.

The hunter replies that he scares the bear up into a tree, climbs up then knocks him out of the tree. While he's laying on the ground the dog bites the bear's nuts which kills it.

"So why do you need me?" asks t...

A man goed bear hunting for the first time in a long while...

Hiding in the woods he spots a bear through the scope of his hunting rifle. He aims... shoots... and hits the bear!

Excited to hit the bear in one shot he grabs his gear and runs over to where te bear was hit. But to his disappointed, the bear is not there and not a single trace of blood can ...

Alaskan Bear Hunting Trip

A man saves up his money all Summer to go on an Alaskan bear hunting trip. He gets out into the wilderness and tracks through the underbrush for hours when he finally spots a little black bear. He gets that bear in his sights and BANG shoots him dead!

At just that moment he feels a tap on his...

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A world champion in grizzly bear hunting wanted to shoot a polar one

He's got yet another prize in USA for hunting grizzlies, proving he's the best there is. Doesn't matter how hard it would be to hunt one, he would track them and hunt them.

One day he wanted the challenge, and thought he would step up his game and hunt for polar bears. He's no expert in polar...

Bear hunt

Two hunters go bear hunting
The one hunter explains the strategy.

"I'll get the bear to chase me, you stand over there with my Rottweiler and the gun.
I'll climb up that tree, and when the bear is under the tree, you release the Rottweiler, I've trained him to bite the nuts off the bea...

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Big Game Hunter goes to Siberia to hunt Russian Bear

When he arrives on the train station (probably the only one in Siberia) he is greeted by the village hunter/gatherer/provider who has a very mangy, tiny, old dog leashed with a massive iron chain.
\-"Right, I'll help you." says the native "Here's what we're going to need: A great big blow horn,...

Donald Trump visits Vladimir Putin in Russia and while there Putin takes him bear hunting...

After a few hours in the woods Trump says, "Vlad this is great but where's the washroom. I need to pee." Putin chuckles at the American city boy and says, "There's no washroom here. You just pee in the bushes." He then walks over to some bushes and starts peeing. A bear that was hiding in the bu...

What do you call a house where a bear hunting enthusiast lives

A trap house

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So there is this bear hunter

So this chap is out bear hunting. He sees a large bear, sneaks up on it, takes his shot and misses!

The bear spots him and charges. The hunter runs but trips and the bear is on him. To his surprise the bear doesn't maul him to death but says:

"Look, I've eaten today but I am a bit ho...

The hunt

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but ...

Bear joke my co-worker told me

So a man and his three friends are sitting in a bar, one of them says to the others

“im the greatest bear hunter there ever was”

2 of the 3 friends disagree and say

“no way i am”

an argument breaks out until the 4th man who said nothing pipes up and says

“i ha...

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The one with the Talking Bear

Once James goes bear hunting in nearby woods and spots a bear. He takes aim and shoots. BAMMM the bullet hits the mark and the bear dies. When James goes to inspect the kill, he suddenly feels a furry paw on his shoulder. He turns back and sees a large bear standing there

"Whats your name mat...

Czechoslovakian and a Frenchman

A Czechoslovakian and a Frenchman decided to go bear hunting together. After a few days, the village they lived in realized they hadn't come back and sent out a search party to find them. Instead, they found two dead bears: a male, and a female.
The cut open the female bear and found the Frenchma...

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Two bear hunters...

... are sitting around the campfire after a long, successful day of bear hunting. They had just finished cleaning and gutting their bears when the first bear hunter declares, "I gotta poo." So he runs off into the woods to do his business.
An hour passes, and the second bear hunter begins to wor...

The Pope's Alaska Visit

The Pope went on vacation to visit Alaska. He was cruising in the Pope-Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Vote for Bernie' hat and a 'Save the Trees' shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, trying to free himself from t...

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