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Bearable Jokes

Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable.

Those people are called bartenders.

A woman goes into labour and her husband takes her to the hospital.

As she is laying in the hospital bed, the nurse tells her of a new type of technology that allows a percentage of her pain to be passed to the father of the child. They both agree, so start on 10% to be transferred.

However, the husband says he can feel nothing, and is willing for it to be tu...

A man is losing his mind and his hair…

When he looks at himself in the mirror, the man is upset to see his once flowing locks are now but a thinning patch. His adoring wife is slowly losing interest as her once Fabio-looking groom is aging quickly.

Determined to regain his confidence and looks, the man tries everything. First he r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was on a ship that sunk, and after floating for days he washed up on a deserted island....

He was stranded for many years on this island, but fortunately food was easy to come by. Fruits and vegetables grew abundantly all over the island, and the fish were so easy to catch it was almost like they *wanted* to be caught. Unfortunately, this meant that he had hours and hours of free time th...

I gave a lonely guy a baby bear as a pet.

He said, "Thanks for making my life a little bearable."

Children are like farts.

Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else's are horrendous.

I once saw a skinned Grizzly

The bare bear was barely bearable.

A man was mauled by a bear, but lived.

He said the pain was unBEARable...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, Scottish man And Irish man are being sent to prison for life

But the judge says as a small act of kindness you can each take one item to prison with you to make it a little more bearable.

In Prison they show each other what they got.

The Englishman “I got these fine cigars so I can spend the evening smoking and thinking”

The Scottish man...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys stranded on a tropical island... NSFW

Long:
They build huts and prepare wood for a signal fire in case they see a plane or boat. They have plenty of food. Life at a minimum is bearable.


After 6 months Johnny says to Bill, "You know, we're doing ok here but I've been feeling pretty horny lately."  Bill leans away from him ...

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