UPJOKE
insectearwigpupahymenopteracicadagnatinsectoidmosquitomothcaterpillardragonflyentomologybugpollinatorladybug

Lois Jokes

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.

After some time, Lois said “Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I’ve regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.”

“You don’t need to worry about that because,” Clark said as he took off his glasses, “I am Superman!...

What do Lois Lane, Kent Brockman, and a Kotaku writer have in common?

They're all journalists in somebody's imagination.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lois Lane is on an assignment in Japan.

Meanwhile Superman is flying around saving the day, he misses Lois and is feeling horny.

He flies over the Justice League headquarters and sees Wonder Woman on her back, sunbathing nude on the roof. He contemplates for a moment and decides to make his move.

As fast as a speeding bullet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman is flying through the city and see Lois naked

With her legs wide open. Superman swoops down at lightening speed, ducks her and flys away in a blink of an eye.

The invisible man says "we have to do this another time Lois, my ass suddenly really hurts"

Why can’t Superman drive quickly?

He always gets stuck in the Lois lane.

Times were tough at the Daily Planet and Perry White was forced to fire a star reporter. Either Lois Lane or Clark Kent.

He struggled making a decision for days until he went to the grocery store and saw a sign. The next day he called both of them into his office where fired Lois Lane. After she left, Clark Kent asked him, "Perry, how did you decide which of us to fire?" He replied, "I couldn't make a decision until I...

Super table

Clark Kent: *puts glasses on table*

Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don't recognize it.

A scene from Family Guy that never existed:

Lois says, "Good news Peter, your test results are back, you don't have the Coronavirus!"

Peter: "I don't?! Wow, I was so sure I did... Man, I haven't been this surprised since that time I went to Sting's birthday party."

Cutaway to Sting's birthday party flashback:

Peter: "Lis...

50 bucks is 50 bucks.

Lois and Stan have been married for 35 years and every year they go to the state fair when it's in town. This year they have a new ride called 'The Helicopter ride'. $50 for a ride in the helicopter for 25 minutes. Stan really wants to ride it so he asks his wife if they can go. She declines say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Batman and his girlfriend's birthday present.

Batman and his girlfriend debating as to what should be her birthday present.

"I know what. The other day I had a chat with Lois Lane and you know what Superman got her as a pressie?” says his partner.

"Tell me, sugar-plum!”

She whispers it into his ears. Batman blushes and says...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A superheroes joke

Im sorry if the english is bad but im translating this joke from the Spanish:

It's saturday night. The Flash wants to go out and meet some women, so he decides to go and ask Batman to come with him, he runs to the batcave and asks him:
- Hey Bruce! Lets go out to a club tonight and get so...

A man was accused of beating his wife to death... [long]

A man is in court.

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect
any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."

Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."

Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.