Hey girl, are you a ballpoint pen?

Because I want to use you once and lose you forever

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of bird can write underwater?

A ballpoint *pen*guin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist was put in charge of developing new methods of assassination for the CIA.

He came up with several ideas, and the director of the CIA came down to see them demonstrated.

He showed off ballpoint pen dart-guns and poisoned bubble gum, but nothing seemed to impress the director. Finally, he stood up to leave.

"I'm going to go take a piss, and then I'm headed bac...

Is there a doctor on this flight?

It finally happened! The flight attendant asked "is there a doctor on this flight?" and I leapt up and said yes!


Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a razor blade and ballpoint pen.


He didn't make it, but the thrill was undeniable. Thinking of going to doctor school now...

Someone stole my pen today.

I was robbed at ballpoint.

I was walking down the street the other day when a man held a pen up to my throat and demanded I give him my wallet.

I was robbed at ballpoint.

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