Hot Air Jokes

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"... read more

but it never really took off.

... when suddenly they started to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.

Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”

Biden throws out an AR-15 and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my... read more

They quoted him 200 and on the day charged 400. Said it was due to inflation.

credit to iBeej for this one!

They're really good when you get it down.

One day an American, Asian and an Australian were in a hot air balloon when they started to fall so the pilet said "each of you need to throw out one thing you have too much of". So the American started by throwing out hamburgers saying " we have too many of these in our country". Then the Asian wen... read more

They think highly of us.

Because Fireflies and Waterfalls

I don't want to lose my life's savings to inflation

3 men are on a hot air balloon but it’s losing altitude. They need to get rid of things quickly.

The first man grabs some planks of wood and throws them off the side of the balloon.

The second man throws 3 heavy rocks off of the balloon.

The last man drops a bomb off the side.... read more

But now my friends say I can't bring it up.

I guess they’re all early risers

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a... read more

at least she let me down gently

A balooney bin. Fuuuuuuck I hate myself.

The balloon was too heavy so each of them dropped something off it. The teacher dropped an apple, the nurse dropped her medical bag, and the Army man drops a grenade. After they land, they go for a walk. They come across a little girl who's crying. They ask her what's wrong and she says an apple fel... read more

Three soldiers are in a hot air balloon, riding over a town with a mountain in the distance. As the mountain approaches, the sudden realization hits that they will not clear mountain.

In a last-ditch effort, they try to throw out everything they can. The first soldier throws out their weapon... read more

It has its highs and lows

A man is flying solo in a hot air balloon and he discovers that he is lost. He lowers altitude until he can see a guy walking through a field.

He says to the guy, "Hey, where am I"?
The guy replies, "You are in a hot air balloon about 8 feet above farmer Jack's field."
The balloon ... read more

Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful..

" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant,... read more

No visible means of support

An older colleague of mine told me this. It may be older than him.

A hot air balloonist got blown way off course. Realizing how lost he was he decided to lower altitude to see if he could get some help from someone on the ground. He saw a large wilderness expance but luckily he noticed a hike... read more

When his son turned out to be a shame on the family, he told him: "You had so much potential!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, an American and a Mexican are in a hot air balloon.

They're running out of fuel, and losing height, having already thrown all of their ballast overboard.

A range of mountains is coming up in the distance, and they need to lose weight the clear them.

A... read more

It's because Trump stopped blowing hot air that kept all of us warm.

An English man, Irish man and Scots man are in a hot air balloon. It's starting to go down, and they decide they each have to throw 1 thing over board. The Irish man takes his pic-axe and throws it over, the scots man throw over a bottle of whiskey and the English man a grenade.

They finally ... read more

He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

I think it was over my head.

You could say that he expresses himself with convection.

Paddy says, "You can't fool me, you're in that box."

A man was stuck in a hot air balloon and realized that he was lost. He reduced his height and saw a woman down on a field.

He went further down and yelled at the woman : "Excuse me, Could you help me? I had arranged a meeting with a friend an hour ago, but I have no idea were I am."
... read more

In order to slow their descent, they decide to throw stuff out of the basket in which they're riding.

El Chapo throws several bricks of cocaine over the side and says, "Don't worry, I've got tons of this stuff back in my country."

Following suit, Kim Jong Un throws over several bottles... read more

One of the men went to the bathroom and the other men started talking about their sons.

The first man says: "My son is so rich, he just bought a mansion and gave it to his boyfriend".
The second one said: "My son is so rich, he bought a Ferrari and gave it to his boyfriend"
The third on... read more

A hot air baboon

All that hot air would make it habitible quickly!

A hot air baboon !

This after news that the local population absolutely *lives* for hot air.

Best engineering joke I've heard:

A man is walking in a field when he notices a guy adrift in a hot air balloon with no fuel. Balloon guy shouts down "A little help here?"
The man on the ground looks up and shouts "You are in a hot air balloon with no fuel, you're about 20 feet off the gro... read more

A Frenchman, an American, and an Arab are on a hot air balloon.
The hot air ballon wouldn't lift-off as there was too much weight, so the three friends agree on throwing off anything that is plentiful in their respective countries. The rich American goes forth and throws away piles on piles of ... read more

A man is flying in a hot air balloon above the mountains. He's lost, so when he sees a man walking down below, he yells out to him. "Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I am?" yells the man in the balloon. The man walking on the ground says "Certainly. You're 30 feet up in the air, in a hot air bal... read more