Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?
He was always Stalin in his manual!
Missing wife
A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:
Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet. Inspector : -What is her height? Husband : -Average, I guess. Inspector : -Slim or healthy?. Husband : -Not slim, but...
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