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Arousing Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favourite joke to perform. Terrible accent recommended.

Pierre, zee French fighter pilot is with his amour.

"Oh, Pierre, I want you to kiss me", she exclaims.

And so he tilts her chin up and leans in, but just before he plants a kiss on her lips, he pours a little red wine on them, and then goes in for the kiss.

"Oh, Pierre, mon di...

They say Prince Andrew can get off on a legal technicality

Is there anything this guy doesn't find arousing?

There was a woman who had 100 kids..

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and neve...

When on the phone and a woman says she is touching herself while talking to you, thats quite arousing.....

....but when a bloke says it he gets called a weirdo, and they stop you from using telephone banking :(

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The handyman's case with naked yoga

After 6 month of naked yoga class, the wife goes home to her husband very excited, as she finally mastered the split. Very eager to show off her new talents, she strips naked in the middle of the kitchen and goes down to split. The husband is very impressed, but when the wife tries to get up, she re...

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