I remember when I first started using drugs. I was 18 years old. It all started with a spliff, the odd bong or two. Before I knew it, I'd started using amphetamines like speed and for a stronger buzz, I moved on to ecstasy.
It wasn't long after, that I started on the hard stuff, like cocaine and heroin.
I was a complete mess.
I was broke and my body was ruined.
But fuck me, what a night.
What do you call Mike Tyson on amphetamines?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...
He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.
"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.
"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.
"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...
An F1 racer gets addicted to amphetamines.
He soon felt the *need* for *speed*
Have you heard about the calculus professor who tried some bad amphetamines and ended up believing he was a moth?
It’s the old meth math moth myth.
A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist
He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "
A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. " ...
Had to take a drug test at work today. They said they found Opiates. I told them it was probably the poppy seeds on my bagel.
But then they asked about the THC, meth amphetamines, cocaine, and hallucinogens. Told them it was an everything bagel.