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Steroid Jokes

My struggle with steroid addiction,

Has only made me stronger.

Did you hear about the terrorist that took steroids?

He blew up overnight.

What kind of drug should dinosaurs never take?

A steroid.

What happens if you inject a particular kind of sea creature with steroids?

You’ve made yourself a very powerful anemone

How do you cure someone from steroid abuse?

You give them the anti-dope

How do you call a flower on steroids?

A power plant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Female body builder:Doc I've taken so much steroids its actually made me grow a penis!

Doctor:Anabolic?

Female body builder:No,just a penis.

How do you catch a steroidal fish?

With A-Rod.

My friend admitted to steroid use.

It takes a big man to do that.

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford "The materials we put into our stomach should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But... There is one thing that is the more dangerous to all us...

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A woman bodybuilder goes to the doctor and says "I've taken that many steroids I've grown a penis"

Doctor says "anabolic?"

Bodybuilder replies "no just a penis"

What do you call Hamlet after he takes steroids?

Village.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

What's a bodybuilder's favorite arcade game?

"Ass-steroids." [(Asteroids)](https://youtu.be/_TKiRvGfw3Q)

What's the most buffed astronomical body out there?

A steroid.

What did the weak dinosaur say to the other buff dinosaur?

I don't like a-steroids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"

"Anabolic?"

"No, just the penis"

The Americans and Russians

at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's...

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A woman comes home from the doctors.

Husband: "Is everything OK.?"

Wife: No it isn't.. The doctor has put me on some sort of steroids and I have started to grow a penis"

Husband: "Anabolic?"

Wife: "No just a penis"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of supplements do bodybuilding astronomers use?

Ass-steroids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman went to the doctors after taking steroids and said she grew a penis.

A woman went to the doctors after taking steroids and said she grew a penis.

'A penis, you say?' said the doctor.

The woman nodded.

'Steroids, you say?' said the doctor.

The woman nodded again.

'Anabolic?' said the doctor.

'No,' said the woman. 'Just a penis...

What’s the difference between cortisone and a comet?

One’s a steroid, and the other is an asteroid.

Why isn't the Russian army as strong as expected?

Because they wasted all their steroids on figure skaters a month ago.

What do you call a body-enhancing drug from space?

A steroid.

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)

My girlfriends health

A number of years ago my girlfriend was having these terrible headaches.

She goes to the doctors, and they tell her it's a sinus issue. Another month goes by and she sees her Dr. again, and they do more blood work on her, and it's discovered to be temporal arteritis. Which is basically enlar...

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WWII as a bar fight...

I made a bar fight for WWI in honor of the 101 anniversary of its end, and someone requested one for the sequel. So here it is.

Germany went into a deep depression after his defeat in the last fight. His bar tab from his enemies' victory drink was crushing. He started hitting the gym, and wan...

I tried experimenting on roots

Trying to grow strong plants to survive in harsh environments. I gave one water, and the other steroids.

A root didn't stand a chance against b root strength

Always diagnose before you treat...

A woman walks into the dermatologists office complaining about a rash on her chest. The doctor asks to take a look, so she removes her shirt, revealing a large, red 'H' on her skin. Believing this to be a case of contact dermatitis, the doctor asks her what could have caused this. "Well", she said, ...

Arnold Schwarzenegger was ostracised when he was young.

After taking steroids, however, he was Austria sized.

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Ibuprofenum and Aspirin are running in a race...

Suddenly prednisolone passes them and wins first place.

Ibuprofenum looks toward Aspirin and mutters:

"fucking steroids"

You think Trump is bad? You should meet Covid-19 Donald

He's like Trump on steroids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female athlete goes to the doctor.

Athlete: “Doctor, I've been training hard, and I’m really worried that I might be growing a penis! You know - because of all the steroids I’ve been taking.”


Doctor: “Anabolic?”


Patient: “No, just a penis.”

Italian Bodybuilder

Did you hear about the Italian Bodybuilder? He loves astrophysics! He even said:
"I love-a steroids"

A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
...

Two Muscled Buff Girls

were at their gym working out one day. About halfway through their workout one of the girls turns to the other and with a very serious face says.
"I'm really thinking about getting off of steroids."

Second girl sets her weights down, "Why would you do that?"

"Well i'm getting hair...

The year is 2135, and the US and Russia are the only 2 remaining nations.

After a century of warfare, the two nations expanded their borders, annexing an country that stood in it's way.

Both nations, hungering for world domination, have been at war with each other for over 20 years, and have decided that the fighting would never end, as the two were so closely matc...

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Venus and Serena Williams were having breakfast...

when Serena says to Venus "I think Dad's been putting steroids or something in our cereal". Venus says "Why do you think that?". Serena leans forward and speaking in a low voice says "I'm starting to get hair where I didn't have any before". "Like where??" Venus asks. "All over my cock and balls...

A woman goes to the doctor.

A woman goes to the doctor and tells him a story.


She is recently retired, and last week, she went on a trip to a secluded beach resort. She started hiking on a trail, got lost, and slipped and hurt her ankle. She was quite worried, because it was in a secluded spot and she couldn't mo...

The Dog Fight

The Israeli Dog vs. The Arab Dog

  
The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fi...

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This may be why Teachers retire early or turn to drinking: the following questions were in a (UK) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination (they are genuine answers):

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. In a democratic society, how impor...

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