My struggle with steroid addiction,

Has only made me stronger.

What do you call a flower on steroids?

a power plant

How do you cure someone from steroid abuse?

You give them the anti-dope

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Female body builder:Doc I've taken so much steroids its actually made me grow a penis!

Doctor:Anabolic?

Female body builder:No,just a penis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of supplements do bodybuilding astronomers use?

Ass-steroids.

Did you hear about the terrorist that took steroids?

He blew up overnight.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, I'm concerned I'm growing a penis because of all these steroids that I've been taking"

Doctor says: "Anabolic?"
Woman: "No no, just a penis"

What do you call Hamlet after he takes steroids?

Village.

How do you catch a steroidal fish?

With A-Rod.

I'm thinking about trying steroids...

I hear they're all the rage!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman went to the doctors after taking steroids and said she grew a penis.

A woman went to the doctors after taking steroids and said she grew a penis.

'A penis, you say?' said the doctor.

The woman nodded.

'Steroids, you say?' said the doctor.

The woman nodded again.

'Anabolic?' said the doctor.

'No,' said the woman. 'Just a penis...

My friend admitted to steroid use.

It takes a big man to do that.

I went to the doctor for a chest cold, she looked at me and asked if I'd ever taken steroids.

I said, "No. but I appreciate the compliment."

What did the weak dinosaur say to the other buff dinosaur?

I don't like a-steroids.

A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
...

My Russian dad told me to eat the breakfast of champions.....

......so I took a bunch of Steroids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"

"Anabolic?"

"No, just the penis"

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(a steroid overdose)

What do you call a body-enhancing drug from space?

A steroid.

What's the most buffed astronomical body out there?

A steroid.

You think Trump is bad? You should meet Covid-19 Donald

He's like Trump on steroids.

The Dog Fight

The Israeli Dog vs. The Arab Dog

  
The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WWII as a bar fight...

I made a bar fight for WWI in honor of the 101 anniversary of its end, and someone requested one for the sequel. So here it is.

Germany went into a deep depression after his defeat in the last fight. His bar tab from his enemies' victory drink was crushing. He started hitting the gym, and wan...

Embarrassing Fart Story

Here’s one that a lot of y’all can probably relate to. I’m probably gonna add more to it at some point.

.......

One day in third grade we were all sitting on the carpet listening to our teacher read something. My stomach hadn’t been too kind to me that day. .......


You know...

A woman goes to the doctor.

A woman goes to the doctor and tells him a story.


She is recently retired, and last week, she went on a trip to a secluded beach resort. She started hiking on a trail, got lost, and slipped and hurt her ankle. She was quite worried, because it was in a secluded spot and she couldn't mo...

My girlfriends health

A number of years ago my girlfriend was having these terrible headaches.

She goes to the doctors, and they tell her it's a sinus issue. Another month goes by and she sees her Dr. again, and they do more blood work on her, and it's discovered to be temporal arteritis. Which is basically enlar...

The year is 2135, and the US and Russia are the only 2 remaining nations.

After a century of warfare, the two nations expanded their borders, annexing an country that stood in it's way.

Both nations, hungering for world domination, have been at war with each other for over 20 years, and have decided that the fighting would never end, as the two were so closely matc...

A grad student is working with his lab partner on a science project for his robot acoustics research

When the student says to his lab partner, “There seems to be something missing from our robot that is keeping the voice audio from converting into an electrical signal”.

The lab partner, in an effort to help his friend, heads down the street to the computer shop to see if he can figure out w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female athlete goes to the doctor.

Athlete: “Doctor, I've been training hard, and I’m really worried that I might be growing a penis! You know - because of all the steroids I’ve been taking.”


Doctor: “Anabolic?”


Patient: “No, just a penis.”

Always diagnose before you treat...

A woman walks into the dermatologists office complaining about a rash on her chest. The doctor asks to take a look, so she removes her shirt, revealing a large, red 'H' on her skin. Believing this to be a case of contact dermatitis, the doctor asks her what could have caused this. "Well", she said, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This may be why Teachers retire early or turn to drinking: the following questions were in a (UK) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination (they are genuine answers):

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. In a democratic society, how impor...

I figured it out!

Asteroids are just meteors on steroids

Two Muscled Buff Girls

were at their gym working out one day. About halfway through their workout one of the girls turns to the other and with a very serious face says.
"I'm really thinking about getting off of steroids."

Second girl sets her weights down, "Why would you do that?"

"Well i'm getting hair...

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford

"The materials we put into our stomach should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Venus and Serena Williams were having breakfast...

when Serena says to Venus "I think Dad's been putting steroids or something in our cereal". Venus says "Why do you think that?". Serena leans forward and speaking in a low voice says "I'm starting to get hair where I didn't have any before". "Like where??" Venus asks. "All over my cock and balls...

Italian Bodybuilder

Did you hear about the Italian Bodybuilder? He loves astrophysics! He even said:
"I love-a steroids"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ibuprofenum and Aspirin are running in a race...

Suddenly prednisolone passes them and wins first place.

Ibuprofenum looks toward Aspirin and mutters:

"fucking steroids"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.