My struggle with steroid addiction,

Has only made me stronger.

How do you cure someone from steroid abuse?

You give them the anti-dope

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)

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Female body builder:Doc I've taken so much steroids its actually made me grow a penis!

Doctor:Anabolic?

Female body builder:No,just a penis.

What do you call an ambulance with loads of steroids in it?

Ambu-Lance Armstrong

What do you call a flower on steroids?

a power plant

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A woman went to the doctors after taking steroids and said she grew a penis.

A woman went to the doctors after taking steroids and said she grew a penis.

'A penis, you say?' said the doctor.

The woman nodded.

'Steroids, you say?' said the doctor.

The woman nodded again.

'Anabolic?' said the doctor.

'No,' said the woman. 'Just a penis...

What do you call a body-enhancing drug from space?

A steroid.

The Dog Fight

The Israeli Dog vs. The Arab Dog

  
The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fi...

A woman goes to the doctor.

A woman goes to the doctor and tells him a story.


She is recently retired, and last week, she went on a trip to a secluded beach resort. She started hiking on a trail, got lost, and slipped and hurt her ankle. She was quite worried, because it was in a secluded spot and she couldn't mo...

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A woman goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, I'm concerned I'm growing a penis because of all these steroids that I've been taking"

Doctor says: "Anabolic?"
Woman: "No no, just a penis"

Did you hear about the terrorist that took steroids?

He blew up overnight.

My friend admitted to steroid use.

It takes a big man to do that.

A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
...

How do you catch a steroidal fish?

With A-Rod.

I'm thinking about trying steroids...

I hear they're all the rage!

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WWII as a bar fight...

I made a bar fight for WWI in honor of the 101 anniversary of its end, and someone requested one for the sequel. So here it is.

Germany went into a deep depression after his defeat in the last fight. His bar tab from his enemies' victory drink was crushing. He started hitting the gym, and wan...

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"I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"

"Anabolic?"

"No, just the penis"

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I was at a party last night and got talking to a leading expert in the use of drugs in Sport.

He told me about a female Bulgarian athlete who had used so much steroids in the 70’s that she started to grow the beginnings of a penis.

“Anabolics?” I asked. “No” he said, “Just a penis”.

My Russian dad told me to eat the breakfast of champions.....

......so I took a bunch of Steroids

My girlfriends health

A number of years ago my girlfriend was having these terrible headaches.

She goes to the doctors, and they tell her it's a sinus issue. Another month goes by and she sees her Dr. again, and they do more blood work on her, and it's discovered to be temporal arteritis. Which is basically enlar...

What's the most buffed astronomical body out there?

A steroid.

The year is 2135, and the US and Russia are the only 2 remaining nations.

After a century of warfare, the two nations expanded their borders, annexing an country that stood in it's way.

Both nations, hungering for world domination, have been at war with each other for over 20 years, and have decided that the fighting would never end, as the two were so closely matc...

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A female athlete goes to the doctor.

Athlete: “Doctor, I've been training hard, and I’m really worried that I might be growing a penis! You know - because of all the steroids I’ve been taking.”


Doctor: “Anabolic?”


Patient: “No, just a penis.”

US and Russia are at war

It has been going on for endless years so they decide to have a dog fight in 6 months time to see who will be considered winner of the war.
The US invests heavily in steroids for dogs, medicine to improve reactions, implant shark teeth in their dog, cut its ears, its tail, oil it all up, basicall...

I figured it out!

Asteroids are just meteors on steroids

Two Muscled Buff Girls

were at their gym working out one day. About halfway through their workout one of the girls turns to the other and with a very serious face says.
"I'm really thinking about getting off of steroids."

Second girl sets her weights down, "Why would you do that?"

"Well i'm getting hair...

Italian Bodybuilder

Did you hear about the Italian Bodybuilder? He loves astrophysics! He even said:
"I love-a steroids"

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This may be why Teachers retire early or turn to drinking: the following questions were in a (UK) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination (they are genuine answers):

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. In a democratic society, how impor...

Always diagnose before you treat...

A woman walks into the dermatologists office complaining about a rash on her chest. The doctor asks to take a look, so she removes her shirt, revealing a large, red 'H' on her skin. Believing this to be a case of contact dermatitis, the doctor asks her what could have caused this. "Well", she said, ...

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford

"The materials we put into our stomach should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the...

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Ibuprofenum and Aspirin are running in a race...

Suddenly prednisolone passes them and wins first place.

Ibuprofenum looks toward Aspirin and mutters:

"fucking steroids"

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Venus and Serena Williams were having breakfast...

when Serena says to Venus "I think Dad's been putting steroids or something in our cereal". Venus says "Why do you think that?". Serena leans forward and speaking in a low voice says "I'm starting to get hair where I didn't have any before". "Like where??" Venus asks. "All over my cock and balls...

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