UPJOKE
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1s Jokes

How do you make a soup using 1s and 0s?

Beef Boolean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2?

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Doctor Doctor! My butt hurts!"

"Doctor Doctor! My butt hurts!"
"Well, let's have a look at i\-that's weird." Says the doctor as the man bend's over. "What is it?" "You have a rolled up $20 bill sticking out of your butt." "Well, pull it out!" The doctor does. "Umm, now there's a rolled up $10 bill sticking out of your butt."...

I just got some Sudoku toilet paper

Sadly, I can't complete it because I can only fill it with 1s and 2s.

I walked into a bar full of ugly women last night and swore I entered the Matrix.

Because all I was seeing were 1s and 0s

What’s the difference between a stoner and the sun?

1s already burnt out. aaaaHA

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English fo...

Found some gems in my grandpa's old journal, thought r/jokes would appreciate them...

I'll try and transcribe them the way he writes them down, but it is pretty hard since most of them are written in cursive.

Husband got up early Sunday morning to fly a kite. He is having a hard time, kite is going up and down. Wife is watching from the window in her nighty. Finally, she becom...

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