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Vas Jokes

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My wife said the sex after my vasectomy changed dramatically...

She said she noticed "a vas deferens"

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Some people are so ignorant about anatomy.

Just today I had to explain to someone that there is a vas deferens between a testicle and a penis.

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What do the testicles and prostate have in common?

Nothing. There’s a vas deferens between the two.

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My friend asked me, “Is sex weird after you get a vasectomy?”

I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”

Is it okay to compare a man getting “the snip” with a woman getting her tubes tied?

After all, there isn’t a vas deferens between the two ovum

A guy went to the doctor to get snipped...

Afterwards there was a vast difference in his vas deferens.

Did you know there is a wide variety in men’s ability to produce sperm?

In fact, there’s a vas deferens.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.

But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby

Is there a big difference between male and female anatomy?

Yes, there is a vas deferens.

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Whats the difference between your ballsack and your penis?

I don't know but I think there is a vas deferens.

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Some people think sperm just magically travels to the penis when in reality there's a whole duct to transport them...

It might not seem like it, but there's a vas deferens between the two.

I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

I asked a German doctor about the anatomical differences between males and females...

I don't think he knows, cause he answered "Vas deferens?".

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What’s the difference between the scrotum and the prostate?

I don’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure there’s a vas deferens

I don't know why people say that pee is stored in the balls.

I mean, there's a vas deferens between the two.

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It's very important to know the difference between urolgical and endocrinological terminology...

There's a vas deferens between a penis and a testicle, for example.

Two women are discussing their love lives

Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."

Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."

"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."

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What did the testicle say to the seminiferous tubules?

We’ll never get along. There’s such a vas deferens between us.

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A friend of mine told me that sex after a vasectomy would hurt.

But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens.

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My son asked me, "Dad, what's the difference between the male and female sexual organs?"

I replied, "Well, there's a vas deferens".

Two Urologists were discussing the results of a scan...

"These images look very similar, but if you you look closely you can see there's a vas deferens."

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(NSFW) Much like fingerprints, no two man's testicles are exactly the same

That is to say, there's usually a vas deferens between them

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Three Rabbis

Three rabbis were walking and they came to the more questionable part of town. They pass by a shop that has a sign which reads...

Blowjobs:
$25
$50
$100

The first rabbi looks at the sign and says “My friends, it is time I enjoy some of the joys of the flesh. I am going to go a...

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My son asked me if a dick and balls were the same thing.

I had to explain that there was a vas deferens between the two.

Don't believe for a minute that men and women are the same

Being born male makes a vas deferens.

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NSFW Growing up, I could never tell where my dick ended and my balls began...

But now I know there's a vas deferens between the two.

I just got a vasectomy

I feel like it's a big change, but I don't feel a vas deferens.

Don't get confused between the testes and the urethra

There's a vas deferens between them

Sven the farmer

A Minnesota farmer named Sven had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Ajax Company.

In court, the Ajax Company's hot shot attorney questioned him thus "Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?"

Sven responded: "Vell, I'lla tell you vat...

When I was younger,

when I was younger, a lot younger, I used to think that vasectomies and circumcisions were the same thing. Now I know there's a vas deferens

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The kids don’t know the difference between castration and a vasectomy.

True story:

Fellow teacher in the lounge during lunch: “They have no knowledge of basic human anatomy. They thought that getting a vasectomy meant having your balls chopped off.”

Me: “When it comes to the difference between castration and a vasectomy, there is a vas deferens.”

T...

i got a A on my midterm, then got testicular torsion and a C on the final

there was a vas deferens in my ability to focus

If you like a good Sven and Ole joke. . .

Sven recently got promoted to Game Warden for his Minnesota district and was watching a beautiful flock of loon flying overhead. Suddenly, a shot rang out and one of the loon fell to the ground.

Sven, cursing, drove his truck over to where it fell, only to see his lifelong friend, Ole, picki...

I had always thought becoming sterile through testicular trauma was the same as having a vasectomy

Turns out, there's a vas deferens

A study shows 90% of people couldn’t distinguish between the epididymis and the perineal membrane

But trust me, there’s a vas deferens between the two

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People often act like a cock and balls is all one unit

But there's actually a vas deferens between them.

Lars, Sven and Ole were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and neighbors are mourning you, what would you like them to say?”

Lars said, “I vould like dem to say dat I vas a vonderful husband, a fine spirtual leader, and a gut family man.”
. Sven said, “I vould like dem to say I vas a vonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in da lives of people.”
. Ole said, “I vould like dem to say, ‘Loo...

Most people say it’s not too bad to get a vasectomy.

I got one yesterday and it really hurt. I guess there’s a Vas Deference between people’s responses to the procedure.

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When explaining a groin injury to your doctor...

It’s important to be clear whether it’s your scrotum or penis that is affected...

There’s a vas deferens between them.

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Hitler, Napoleon, and Rasputin are in a bar in Hell recounting their glory days

Hitler: "It vas going so vell, I had conquered most ov Europe and the vorld seemed to be just vithin mien reach...but then I invaded Russia."

Napoleon: "That's nothing. I easily conquered all of Europe. I even became Emporer! It was all goin so well...but then I invaded Russia."

Rasput...

I’m getting a vasectomy tomorrow

I’ll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn’t make a vas deferens.

It's quite hard to compare the epididymis and the seminal vesicle

There's a vas deferens between them.

Two men discuss vasectomies...

First: "I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy, but I'm worried about performance..."
Second:" I had one, I was worried at first but after a while I realized there just wasn't a vas deferens"

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A cut below...

My friend was telling me that he was thinking of having a vasectomy. But it was a little different. He said that the Dr. would actually install a small "micro" valve in the vas that carried the sperm. That way you could turn it off/on. I thought it was a great idea...I asked him if they used a ball ...

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[NSFW] People told me that my dick would be completely different since my surgery,

but I havent noticed a vas deferens because of it.

(Science joke) Whats the difference between boys and girls?

I don't know all the specifics, but there's a vas deferens.

A long time ago, a father, visiting America from Europe for...

...the very first time, went up and down the aisles with his son-in-law at the local store.

He constantly asked questions about products he saw: "Vas diss? Powdered orange juice?"

"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh 'orange juice.'"

A few minutes later, in...

You know what they say about vasectomies...

There's a vas deferens between the good ones and the bad ones.

Thought of this yesterday, probobally done before but whatever

Ole and Lena were married for 40 years

When they first got married Ole said, "I am putting a box under da bed. You must promise never ta look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage Lena never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box w...

What's the difference between a urologist that has been working for one year and one that has been working for ten?

A vas deferens in experience.

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I used to confuse penises and testicles...

But then I realized there is a vas deferens between them.

Is there difference between men and women?

Oh yes. There is a vas' deferens .

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What's the difference between testicles and a penis?

Wow.

I can't believe you don't know this.

There is a Vas Deferens between the two.

Indian bar game

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
"Ja, da...

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A common misconception on the male anatomy

While many people believe that the male ejaculatory ducts and epididymis are essentially the same structure, there's actually a *Vas Deferens* between the two!

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When I was young I thought Urethra and Penis were same.

As an adult I learned that there’s a vas defrens

Wife: Honey I want to have a kid...

Husband: Uh oh... I had a vasectomy

W: I guess I’m leaving you then.

H: (desperately) but wait! Maybe if we try really hard and really often, we could still have kids!

W: you can try all you want, but it's not going to make a vas deferens.

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Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class...

Saul was asked to spell "cultivate," and he spelled it correctly.
He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile,
responded: "Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but
it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home."

I just got a Vasectomy...

The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a sperm count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...

I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel...

I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens.

Ole and Sven are on da lake fishin...

(Read in a Norwegian accent)

So Ole and Sven are on da lake fishin and da fish are bitin pretty good, but when Sven sets da hook, he falls overboard. Sven can't svim you see, so Ole jumps in da lake after 'im.

It's pretty dark down d'ere but Ole is feeling along the bottom and he sudd...

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A man is talking to his doctor before a vasectomy...

The man asks "So, after the procedure, sex will feel the same?"

The doctor responds, "I can assure you there will be no vas deferens."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my doctor that my testicles seemed asymmetrical

He said there was a vas deferens between the two.

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I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried.

I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life.

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Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church...

Lena went every Sunday and taught Sunday School. Ole went on Christmas and Easter, and once in awhile he went on one of the other Sundays. On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed vhat a fine looking woman she was.

Vhile dey were taking up the collection, O...

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

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An anatomy teacher was teaching the basics of male biology...

An anatomy teacher was teaching the basics of male biology to her class. She explained what the urethra and testicles are to her class, when a student raised his hand and said,

"I thought that the urethra and testicles were just two different terms describing the same thing?"

The teach...

A Lena and Sven Joke

Lena went to the doctor a few weeks ago with some problems that Sven had in bed. "Ya know, Sven hasn't been performing as well, I vas vondering what vi could do anything about it" The doctor said"I have this new experimental drug that increase performance, but I warn you it's experimental. Just slip...

What does the sterile man say when asked if he's gonna get neutered?

Vas the deferens?

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There was once a tiny sperm,

pretty tiny as compared to the others he found himself around.

But unlike the others, he did not like to practice. Most of the time, he would jump around, making fun of others while they were all trying to perfect their swimming.

His comrades tried to advise him to stay focused, but ...

A western guy gets a job polishing statues in a natural history museum in India

Before he starts working, some locals warn him of the last man who did this job. "Ve should inform you that the insect exhibit is cursed and the poor man's kid vound up dead after he vas seen cleaning here."

The guy says to them, "sounds like a bunch of superstitious nonsense!" and proceeds t...

Kosher Deli

A man walks into a Kosher Deli in New York City and steps up to the counter.

"I would like zee bagel und lox please." He says in a heavy German accent.

The man pays, sits down with his food, and is clearly enjoying it. When he's done he walks up to the counter again and says, "Zat vas...

Ole & Sven go to the unemployment office

Ole and Sven were just laid off from the lingerie factory so they went to the unemployment office to collect their checks.

Ole goes up and rings the bell. The lady asks, "What can I do for you?"
Ole replied, "I vas just laid off from vork and I vant to collect my unemployment"
Lady - "W...

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