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Yuri Jokes

Yuri Gagarin returned from space and Khrushchev asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"

Yuri replied: "Yes."

"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."

Gagarin traveled to Rome and met the Pope, who asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"

Yuri replied: "No."

"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Comrade Stepofsky and Comrade Yuri are standing in a bread line

You know - says stepofsky - this bread line is so long. Every day we wait hours for one measly loaf for a whole family. This is ridiculous! I am going to do something about it

Yeah yeah - mutters Yuri - you talk a big game but you won’t do anything

Next day, Stepofsky returns, even m...

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Leonid Brezhnev, Soviet General Secretary, calls his head of the KGB, Yuri Andropov, into his office...

Brezhnev: "Comrade, how many Jews do we have in the Soviet Union?"

Andropov: "Approximately five million, Comrade."

Brezhnev: "And how many Jews do you think would leave if we allowed them to?"

Andropov: "Approximately 20 million, Comrade."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Yuri Gagarin was a kid, he dreamt to be the first one in outer space ...

... but some bitches beat him to it.

Today, I came home early to find my wife in bed

"Oh you're home early!" she said and started turning red. I had a joke for her and so I said

"Did you know yuri said I was hot?" My wife immediately asked

"Who's yuri?"
Then the guy under the covers said "Yuri-tarded!" And started laughing.

A russian village has a tradition...

...where each year they they hold a very unusal contest, that consists of 4 challenges: First, the contestants must down a bottle of vodka, then they must swim across an icy lake, third they must shake hands with a chained up wild bear on the other side, and finally they have to run to the closest v...

Who was the unluckiest person in Soviet Russia?

Yuri Gagarin. He circled the earth 3 times but still ended up in Russia.

Lockdown in Russia

Lockdown in Russia, the '50s. Interdiction to be out between 21:00 and 6:00. 2 military men see some guy sneaking. One of them takes out his gun and shoots him.
- Yuri, why did you shoot him? It's only 20:45.
- I knew the guy, he lives very far. He wouldn't have made it on time

The Soviet Union, 1927

A village is celebrating the anniversary of the revolution. The mayor gives s speech.

"We have accompliced so much during the last ten years! Look at Mikhail Pavlovich, before the revolution he was starving and illiterate. Today he is the best tractor driver in the village!"

People che...

Do you know what the real letdown about John Glenns death is?

It's the second time that Yuri Gagarin beat him to it.

What do you call a baby Cosmonaut?

Yuri Googoogagarin.

^I'll ^see ^myself ^out...

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