Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys,
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Hey dad, why is my sister named Uma Thurman?
"Oh it's your mother's favorite fall out boy song"
"Thanks Dad"
"No problem I've Got A Bad Idea And A Dark Alley That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth!"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
When my wife and I got married,
we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have sex with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman (Uma!!). For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed....
Did you hear about Fallout Boy's newest headwear?
Yeah, now their selling Uma Turbans
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