UPJOKE
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A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition

They come across a pyramid and inside it is a mummy. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.

...

Drinking Fast, Drinking Slow

Many years ago I used to tend bar and this old, very drunk but drunk like he'd been drunk for 30 years kind of drunk man sat at my bar. He said, "Son, I'd like you to pour me 6 shots of Louis XIII."


So I poured him the shots at the bar and he just starts downing them 1 shot, 2 shot, 3 ...

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