Tinder is for rookies

Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.

I’m convinced girls from Tinder are haunted.

They keep ghosting me.

There’s only two kinds of people on Tinder.

Those who are right for you, and those who are left.

I met an amazing girl on Tinder

Her name is Catherine Fisher

I keep seeing the quote on women's tinder profiles, "If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote."

Jokes on them, I've been turning women off for years without a remote.

Saudi is the worst country for tinder

Cause women there don't have any rights

Her (On Tinder): I'm a model on Instagram! What do you do?

Him: I'm a soldier, on Call of Duty.

Tinder has a new catch phrase.

Meet,skeet & delete

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this amputee girl I met on Tinder invited me to a party with her other amputee girlfriends.

The place was crawling with pussy.

Met a cute white supremacist on Tinder...

She was a real snackkk

Here is an app idea: Tinder but with...

people that want to be in a relationship

On Tinder I’m looking for special ed teachers

So they know how to deal with me

Did you hear about the flatulent Egyptians that met on Tinder?

They had TOOT in common.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m gonna start saying this every time I ask a couple how they met and they reply “The Internet” or “Tinder”.

“Ahhh, the good ole internet, helping people come together so they can cum together.”

My tinder profile says I'm 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet.

I guess they don't realize those are three separate measurements.

A girl on Tinder asked me why my cigarette isn’t lit in my picture...

I told her i’m just looking for matches

It's great to see so many girls on Tinder with no bio

I guess they're all against profiling

What do you call the Vatican's answer to Tinder?

Kinder

Accidentally swiped right on my sister on tinder....

Now she knows I was cheating on her :(

I matched with a deer on Tinder.

It sent me a tick pic.

What do you call a tinder premium subscription?

Fuel for thot

I met up with a girl from tinder. She asked me to tie her up and do anything i want...

Guess who has gone fishing.

My tinder date called herself "AnalBabe86"

But all she did was complain my tie wasn't on straight and I held my fork funny.

Bible characters on Tinder

What would the tinder profiles of Bible characters look like?

Example: Delilah - Philistine and feisty. Strong guys make me weak. I am an aspiring hairdresser

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I caught my wife using Tinder last night.

Needless to say, I swiped left on that cheating bitch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The skip intro button on Netflix is so cool.

I wish tinder had it too.

Tinder is wonderful

I've always wanted a photo database of all the girls in my city who would never go out with me

You know Tinder right? Well have you heard of the new app for people trying to find trees?

It's called Timber.

Some of my friends go on Tinder dates just for free food

I guess you could call it food for thot.

An Indian guy and girl meet on Tinder

They get to his place and start making out. The guy is not able to get it up so she goes down on him. After sometime she feels him harden enough so she whispers, “Are you Ready?”

He exclaims, “Wow how did you figure out my caste from blowing me?”

P.S: Reddy is a caste in India,

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet

I knew it wasn't going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.

I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she aske...

So I met this girl on Tinder

We get to texting and seems that both me and her are making many spelling errors. I guess you could say she’s exactly my type.

When I found out my Tinder date was missing a foot, I nearly threw up.

I'm lack-toes intolerant.

Created a profile on Tinder

when I was in California and in my bio had California >< Florida on it. Got a match who said she right swiped because she wanted a parcel delivered from California to Florida . Apparently I have been Fedex zoned .

Magnus Carlsen uses tinder...

... to check for potential mates.

My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home...

Guess she’s homeless.

Tinder can learn a lot from Uber...

It's much easier to find a ride on Uber

After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars...

if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality

Tinder is used for starting a fire

But its pointless if you don't have a match

Dating on tinder.

the odds are good but the goods are odd

Why don't Catholic priests use Tinder?

Because they use Kinder.

How are meteorologists like guys on Tinder?

They promise you 12+ in, but you only get 4.

Inspired by today's "storm" in New England. Stay safe out there!

What's more popular than Tinder in Alabama?

Kindling

I was supposed to meet my tinder date for the first time at the gym...

But she didn’t show up.

I guess we aren’t going to work out.

Met this girl on tinder

She told me she's into getting cut, demeaned and she's also into food.

I told her I have a cheese grater waiting for my dirty little Munster

*Spelling

I'm making an app like Tinder, but exclusively for paleontologists

I'm calling it "Carbon Dating"

My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen

Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!

Tinder is like the ocean

Some times you catch fish some times you catch crabs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy has had bad luck with women in general but to top it off, he also has this obscure fetish where he likes to piss in his s/o’s mouth. So he decides to give tinder a go.

Luckily for Billy, he got a few matches.

His matches didn’t initially know about his fetish, he wanted to disclose that information as things got more frisky.

One by one Billy took his matches on a date which eventually led to them going to his bed. Upon reaching his bed, he’d ask th...

Why is Stevie wonders calendar like meeting people on tinder?

It’s all blind dates...

What’s the difference between tinder and grinder?

On Grinder they don’t beat around the bush.

My Friend Told me That I Needed to Be Lit on Tinder

But I couldn’t find any matches


(V2)

I met my wife on Tinder

About a year *after we got married*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tinder is actually the opposite of a porn advertisement

There are actually tons of hot singles near me, but none of them are interested in me.

If you thought eBay was bad, don't even try Tinder...

Everytime I log in it says 'No Matches Available'

What do a weatherman and Tinder date have in common?

They say to expect eight inches, but you only get four.

my tinder date told me that I shouldn't be using a straw

I quickly respond "I know, I know. It's bad for the environment."

"No," she replied, "it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti."

So, matched with a girl on Tinder. She messaged saying, "C'mon over, nobody is home"

I went over there, nobody was home

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried chatting a girl up on Tinder by asking what her star sign was and she told me “piss off”

Is that on the cusp of Pisces or something?

What's the Roman version of Tinder?

The library of Alexandria.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I finally got a tinder match yesterday...

And immediately I started of by asking "So have you heard of the titanic?"

She immediately got pissed and blocked me. I guess in retrospect, I shouldn't have started off with that line.

Its not a very good icebreaker.


P.s - I just thought of this while taking a shit on the p...

I used to have this on my Tinder profile to introduce myself to guys...

Im like a microwave: easy to turn on, warm on the inside and if you put a baby inside me I’ll kill it.

How do you know a girl on Tinder is real?

When they ignore you.

I saw my sister on Tinder.

Can’t believe she’s cheating on me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to meet a girl from Tinder. Her profile said she was into erotic enemas.

Turns out she was full of shit.


(Just thought of this one, you can probably guess where I'm currently posting from.)

My mate Jeff met a girl on Tinder who invited him back to her flat for a threesome with her twin...

Apparently her brothers moustache was really tickly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy goes to his father and asks...

"Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat group on FaceBook. Then I set up a date via Tinder with your Mom and we met at a Starbucks, because of the free wifi. We sneaked into...

Every good camper knows that to start a fire you need tinder.

So I installed the Tinder app. Still no fire, though. I can't seem to get any matches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Graham and Donna met on Tinder.

Donna was a pretty woman with a lisp. Graham was actually the famous porn star Thor the Thunderbolt, so named because his mighty weapon was as long and as thick as the Norse god’s hammer.

Nature took its course, and the pair had a wonderful night of bliss. In the morning, Graham felt remors...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Ah shit” I heard my friend say

“What’s wrong?” I asked. My friend replies “I just matched with my sister on Tinder”

My experience on Tinder has been so bad..

that now I am on Grindr

What beverage do girls on Tinder drink during the winter?

Thot chocolate.

Her tinder bio said she’s very creative and imaginative.

So I didn’t text. She can imagine our chats. And probably a better one.

I wonder how far our relationship has gone.

Dora would hate Tinder

...lots of swiping.

Russian bots on Tinder always match with me...

Are they attempting to meddle the erections?

I finally got Tinder ...

and after a few matches, I was able to start a campfire

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks?

Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.

I'm new to this Tinder thing, is delivery an option?

Or is it "pick up" and "Eat out" only?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.

Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.

"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.

"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for sex", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in...

Pokémon Go is more popular than Tinder.

Another app which requires you to swipe to find monsters in your surroundings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Tinder profile says I'm into coprophilia

Girls eat that shit up

How do you filter out dumb girls on Tinder?

Say you're 5 foot 12

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Tinder and a graveyard?

I’m never had sex with someone I’ve met on Tinder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple who met on Tinder are out in the countryside riding their bikes...

The sun is shining, it's a warm day in early summer, and a couple who recently met on Tinder are riding their bicycles through the countryside. They are both attracted to each other, looking athletic in cycling gear, and getting a buzz out of the sexual tension, the sensation of speed, and the liber...

What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common?

Both give you a good chance of catching something

I’ve tried to search something on google for years

It keeps saying “Error. No matches”

Then I realised I wasn’t on google

I was on Tinder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I confused Tinder with Grindr.

It was a real pain in the ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Been chatting with this 14 year old girl on tinder. Real sexy and flirty. Things are going great, but now she tells me she's an undercover cop...

I hate matching with my employees.

Guy meets a Girl on Tinder..

Both never showed their real photos on their respective profiles. They agree to meet up in a Starbucks. Guy says he will be wearing plain white tees, but wore a green shirt. Girl says she will be wearing a yellow dress and she did. Day of the meet up, guy sees the girl and is ugly as hell. The girl,...

This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do chickens use Tinder?

They want the cock

What did Pingu say to a girl he met on Tinder

Send noots.

Did you know Tinder has different difficulties?

Here's how to unlock Tinder's different difficulties.

Easy mode: be a white girl

Intermediate mode: be a white guy

Hard mode: be anything else

God mode: be an Asian male

Why did the arsonist joined tinder?

To see if he could get a match.

Why couldn't the fox get matches on Tinder?

Because Swiper no swiping.

I saw my uncle on Tinder

Obviously I swiped left. He's not going to be in to me now that I'm all grown up.

I found my wife, my soulmate, my best friend on tinder

I guess I wasn't invited to the orgy.

There's a cool hidden feature on Tinder

Keep on swiping right and girls get fatter

I use this for my Tinder description and it works.

"I fist bumped Chuck Norris once and survived".

Cookies

My tinder profile always has an unlit cigaret in it since i'm always searching for matches.

Two parallel lines match on tinder

But they never meet!

Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan

Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty.

Night at the fair

A young man decides to take his tinder date to the fair. He meets her at the gates, pays their admission and in they go. They ride some rides, eat some deep fried Oreos, play some games. He asks her what she wants to do next.

A smile crosses her face and she says, “I wanna get
weighed.”...

How do family members connect with each other in Alabama?

Tinder

Hey girl are you blocking a water source

Because... Dam.

My original joke on my tinder profile. Idk if this should be on r/dadjokes

I hate seeing people I know on Tinder

My girlfriend has some explaining to do...

"My date hasn't arrived yet, but I would like to buy her a bag of popcorn," I told the cinema assistant.

"Small, medium or large?" he asked.



"Large," I replied. "If her picture on Tinder is anything to go by."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Tinder date said, "Give me ten inches and make it hurt!"

So I fucked her twice and hit her with a brick.

A girl reaches out to me on Tinder and asks "If you could be any type of taco, what would would you be, and why?"

I reply "I would be a Taco Bell crunchy taco so that eleven of my friends and I could come inside one box."

Why can't Mario get a tinder date?

His profile picture was him killing a turtle.

My girlfriend Dora found out I installed Tinder.

She said, "Swiper no swiping!"

My friend met his wife on tinder

...It was six months after their wedding

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.