This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I realized that Tinder is the exact opposite of most websites in porn website ads.

There’s tons of hot single ladies in my area, but none of them want to fuck me.

There’s only two kinds of people on Tinder.

Those who are right for you, and those who are left.

What does Pingu say on Tinder?

Send noots

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

" I'm on tinder just to see how tinder actually works" , said a girl to me

I was like, yeah like i visit pornhub just to see whether the plumber was able to fix the pipe or not

What’s the difference between a mirage and a Tinder date?

One is an optic illusion the other an optic disillusion.

An accountant made a tinder, what’s in his bio?

Gentleman in the streets, and a freak in the excel spreadsheets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An usual conversation on Tinder.

M: Wow, you’re beautiful, so, can you send me a pic of your titties?


W: Sure, send me 20$


Sending money.


M: Oh, they’re gorgeous! Now, can you also send me a pic of your butt?


W: No problems, send another 50$


After a while.

<...

For Me, Chess is a Lot Like Tinder

I know a few openings, but continually struggle to put myself into mating positions

I was talking to a girl on tinder while at work when my boss comes up behind me.

He asked me, "What are you doing?"

I said, "I'm hard at work, sir."

This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture.

I told her that I am looking for matches.

Yeah Tinder is great and all

But have you ever tried to match your own expectations?

How many Catholics would you catch on Tinder?

Absolutely nun.

Why did the egg get on Tinder?

It wanted to get laid.

I met my wife on Tinder.

We have both a lot to explain now.

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a ₹500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.

My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

Tinder is completely useless, and I don’t have a single match

If I don’t find another way to start a campfire tonight, I’ll freeze to death.

I think there is a bug in my Tinder app, I'm not getting any matches.

So I wrote an email to Tinder's tech support, but apparently they have the same issue.

"So I matched with this cute guy on Tinder last night, and we started chatting and sending each other memes and little animations. But then he mentioned that he was an exchange student from Athens, so I ghosted him." "Why?"

"My daddy always told me, 'Beware the Greeks bearing gifs.'"

Guy says to a girl on tinder “You can call me the GOAT” “Why? Cause you’re the greatest of all time?”

“No, cause I’m gonna eat your bush”

I keep seeing the quote on women's tinder profiles, "If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote."

Jokes on them, I've been turning women off for years without a remote.

Why is Tinder like being on a bus?

It's just a heap of people sitting around, staring at their phones but not talking to anyone.

Her (On Tinder): I'm a model on Instagram! What do you do?

Him: I'm a soldier, on Call of Duty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I caught my wife using Tinder last night.

Needless to say, I swiped left on that cheating bitch.

I match with a lot of depressed girls on Tinder

All I have are negative thots.

I met a girl named Terese on Tinder. She was so guarded she wouldn’t even tell me her last name.

She’s just Miss Terese to me.

How do you know a girl on Tinder is real?

When they ignore you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this amputee girl I met on Tinder invited me to a party with her other amputee girlfriends.

The place was crawling with pussy.

Did you hear about the flatulent Egyptians that met on Tinder?

They had TOOT in common.

This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh

If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tinder is the opposite of porn ads....

There are actually tons of hot singles in my area, But none of them are interested in me.

Tinder is for rookies

Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size

A woman from Ottawa drives all the way to Montreal for a tinder date.

They meet at a local French restaurant. Half-way through dinner her date stands up and prepares to leave. Huffily, the woman asks, “you’re leaving because I’m not French, aren’t you?”. Her date responds, “No, it’s because you’re from Ottawa, and I only eat local”

I'm building a dating app exclusively for people working in bars

...look out for BarTinder

This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse...

...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to tell people about how I found my wife on Tinder.

The cheating bitch.

What do my clothes and tinder matches have in common?

Just because I'm inside them, doesnt mean I actually like them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] I met someone on Tinder, things were going really well.

So we went to my place, started making out. I laid on the couch, she straddled me, and our hands soon got pretty busy. We started in with the dirty talk. Just as things were getting intense, I whispered in my sexiest voice, “I want you to get off me.”

She jumped up, suddenly really angry, an...

Saudi is the worst country for tinder

Cause women there don't have any rights

Tinder is simple geometry

If you have good lines you'll get good curves

I got my first message on Tinder!

The Tinder team is quite helpful

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was swiping on tinder and I found my girlfriend

Fuckin bitch

What's the difference between Tinder and Ikea?

One night stands last longer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Tinder and similar apps, girls keep asking me about my height

Are we sure these girls wanna fuck or are they basketball scouts?

So... I matched with a Chinese girl on Tinder. Her bio said I like my men like I like my food.

My opening message was “I’m Batman!”

I swiped left because her Tinder profile looked scary.

I was afraid I might get ghosted.

My tinder profile says I'm 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet.

I guess they don't realize those are three separate measurements.

My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home...

Guess she’s homeless.

What did Dora say to help her friend break his Tinder addiction?

Swiper, no swiping!

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet

I knew it wasn't going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.

I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she aske...

I always had a pee fetish, I met a girl on tinder with the same interest. She was pretty good looking but not a 10

My opening line was “urinate”

Tinder Date: "Oh wow, you’re way better looking than in your profile pic."

Dorian Gray: "Yeah, I get that a lot actually."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Match.com is for relationships, Tinder is for hookups, ChristianMingle...

...is for anal.

Some of my friends go on Tinder dates just for free food

I guess you could call it food for thot.

Just started using Tinder and my success rate is amazing!

Apparently I am completely unmatched.

If you thought eBay was bad, don't even try Tinder...

Everytime I log in it says 'No Matches Available'

Tinder dates....

If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do

I met up with a girl from tinder. She asked me to tie her up and do anything i want...

Guess who has gone fishing.

An Indian guy and girl meet on Tinder

They get to his place and start making out. The guy is not able to get it up so she goes down on him. After sometime she feels him harden enough so she whispers, “Are you Ready?”

He exclaims, “Wow how did you figure out my caste from blowing me?”

P.S: Reddy is a caste in India,

On Tinder I’m looking for special ed teachers

So they know how to deal with me

Bible characters on Tinder

What would the tinder profiles of Bible characters look like?

Example: Delilah - Philistine and feisty. Strong guys make me weak. I am an aspiring hairdresser

Accidentally swiped right on my sister on tinder....

Now she knows I was cheating on her :(

Why is a sketchy Tinder date like a fire?

They both start with a match and end with a burning sensation

Tinder is like Amsterdam

All the girls are behind a glass screen.

Here is an app idea: Tinder but with...

people that want to be in a relationship

What do you call the Vatican's answer to Tinder?

Kinder

My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen

Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!

What do you call someone who goes to bars to find potential new partners?

A bar-tinder.

Why don't Catholic priests use Tinder?

Because they use Kinder.

When I found out my Tinder date was missing a foot, I nearly threw up.

I'm lack-toes intolerant.

I met with a girl on Tinder that said she was Anti-Vaxx

I told her it was amazing, I too am Pro abortion at any time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I finally got a tinder match yesterday...

And immediately I started of by asking "So have you heard of the titanic?"

She immediately got pissed and blocked me. I guess in retrospect, I shouldn't have started off with that line.

Its not a very good icebreaker.


P.s - I just thought of this while taking a shit on the p...

So I met this girl on Tinder

We get to texting and seems that both me and her are making many spelling errors. I guess you could say she’s exactly my type.

I saw my sister on Tinder.

Can’t believe she’s cheating on me.

my tinder date told me that I shouldn't be using a straw

I quickly respond "I know, I know. It's bad for the environment."

"No," she replied, "it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti."

I matched with a deer on Tinder.

It sent me a tick pic.

Tinder is wonderful

I've always wanted a photo database of all the girls in my city who would never go out with me

It's great to see so many girls on Tinder with no bio

I guess they're all against profiling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks?

Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.

Pokémon Go is more popular than Tinder.

Another app which requires you to swipe to find monsters in your surroundings.

After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars...

if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality

I'm making an app like Tinder, but exclusively for paleontologists

I'm calling it "Carbon Dating"

Tinder is like the ocean

Some times you catch fish some times you catch crabs

My tinder date called herself "AnalBabe86"

But all she did was complain my tie wasn't on straight and I held my fork funny.

I used to have this on my Tinder profile to introduce myself to guys...

Im like a microwave: easy to turn on, warm on the inside and if you put a baby inside me I’ll kill it.

What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common?

Both give you a good chance of catching something

So, matched with a girl on Tinder. She messaged saying, "C'mon over, nobody is home"

I went over there, nobody was home

You know Tinder right? Well have you heard of the new app for people trying to find trees?

It's called Timber.

My Friend Told me That I Needed to Be Lit on Tinder

But I couldn’t find any matches


(V2)

Met this girl on tinder

She told me she's into getting cut, demeaned and she's also into food.

I told her I have a cheese grater waiting for my dirty little Munster

*Spelling

What's more popular than Tinder in Alabama?

Kindling

Dating on tinder.

the odds are good but the goods are odd

Every good camper knows that to start a fire you need tinder.

So I installed the Tinder app. Still no fire, though. I can't seem to get any matches.

How are meteorologists like guys on Tinder?

They promise you 12+ in, but you only get 4.

Inspired by today's "storm" in New England. Stay safe out there!

What do a weatherman and Tinder date have in common?

They say to expect eight inches, but you only get four.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I confused Tinder with Grindr.

It was a real pain in the ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy has had bad luck with women in general but to top it off, he also has this obscure fetish where he likes to piss in his s/o’s mouth. So he decides to give tinder a go.

Luckily for Billy, he got a few matches.

His matches didn’t initially know about his fetish, he wanted to disclose that information as things got more frisky.

One by one Billy took his matches on a date which eventually led to them going to his bed. Upon reaching his bed, he’d ask th...

Magnus Carlsen uses tinder...

... to check for potential mates.

What beverage do girls on Tinder drink during the winter?

Thot chocolate.

Guy meets a Girl on Tinder..

Both never showed their real photos on their respective profiles. They agree to meet up in a Starbucks. Guy says he will be wearing plain white tees, but wore a green shirt. Girl says she will be wearing a yellow dress and she did. Day of the meet up, guy sees the girl and is ugly as hell. The girl,...

Why is Stevie wonders calendar like meeting people on tinder?

It’s all blind dates...

What’s the difference between tinder and grinder?

On Grinder they don’t beat around the bush.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.