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Wedding Party Jokes

What's the difference between a Pakistani wedding party and an Al-Qaeda training camp?

Dunno, I just fly the drone.

The wedding party is standing at the altar waiting for bride and groom....NSFW

The groom arrives and is adjusting his belt while smiling hugely. Groomsman asks him what he's smiling about.

Groom replies "I just got the most amazing head-job from a beautiful woman and will be waking up to that every day for the rest of my life!"

Bride arrives, fixing her lip-stick...

What happened at the cannibal’s wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom...

My 7yo told me I had to post this. Enjoy the giggle!

In a freak accident, a wedding photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheese landed on her.

To be fair though, the wedding party did try to warn her.

Policeman: How could you kill...

...69 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into t...

The lion got married and arranged a big wedding party. All the animals came to the wedding to congratulate him.

The rabbit came, put his hand on the his upper back and said: "congratulations my brother!! I wish..." the lion got angry by hearing the word brother, stopped him immediately and roar at him "BROTHER!?!? How the hell can you be my brother?!? I'm a LION!!! the king of all the living animals, and you'...

At the start of the wedding party the organizer announced that they had ordered a whole pig, but something went wrong with the delivery and the pig would be late/not coming.

One guest said: "I hope this will be the last time in this relationship that someone says "what is taking that pig so long?""

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a wedding party in Mexico, the inebriated groom stumbles into the bedroom and finds his bride getting fucked by the best man.he laughs uproariously and calls his his friends to the doorway to have a look. They say to him "Juan, you are drunk!"

"You think I'M drunk?" he yells. .
"Take a look at Manuel. . He's so drunk, he thinks he's ME!"

A photographer was badly hurt this morning when a huge block of cheese fell on him.

Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him.

A groom ran out during his wedding...

His heart wasn’t in the relationship anymore and he couldn’t go through with it, so he ran out just before the vows.

The wedding party, along with everyone in attendance, was in shock.

The bride’s father convinced everyone that since he already paid for the reception, everyone should...

A big Swede named Sven is getting married...

And he got real drunk at the wedding party. Taking advantage of this, his best friend Johann, snuck upstairs to screw the bride in the bedroom.

Meanwhile, everybody was kidding Sven about how drunk he was getting. Finally, Sven went upstairs to bed his new wife. But when he got to the be...

So, a stutterer was a wedding.

He stand's up and says, "hip, hip."

And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised,
"HURRAY"

The stutterer, tried again, but louder, "HIP!! HIP!!"

Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!
"HUURRAAAAY!!!!!"

The stutte...

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

- First open the fridge door, put the elephant in then close the door.

- How do you put an alligator into a refrigerator?

- First open the door, take the elephant out, put the alligator in then close the door.

- A farmer is invited to a wedding party, on the way there he has to ...

Every joke needs one

A priest and a rabbi walk into a wedding party looking for something to drink. The priest approaches some folks standing with empty glasses and asks a man "Pardon me, is this line for the punch?" To which the man replied "yep, this is the punch line."

There was once a world with red and blue bees.

(LONG) (but worth it)

The red and blue bees were more or less polar opposites. So there were establishments for their respective colors.
In this world there is a blue bee, and he had been keeping an eye on this beautiful red bee. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask her out, because he wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Jewish couple was getting married...

As the wedding party was getting ready to enter the hall, they noticed the bride and groom were missing.

After a few minutes the groom shows up with a HUGE smile on his face.

His best man says "dude, I know you're getting married, this is a happy day, but that is quite a smile".
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Appalachian couple get married

Jethro and Ellie Mae get married, and after the wedding party they happily drive off in his 68 Ford truck for their honeymoon. But about an hour later, Jethro storms back into his parents house, angrily slamming the door.
The father asks what's going on, and Jethro says, "The weddins off!" Th...

Fred's honeymoon

Frederico's Honeymoon - Fred for the intimate!

At the age of 82, Frederico married Ana, 27, who, in consideration of her elderly husband, decides that they should sleep in separate rooms.

After the wedding party is over, everyone goes to their room.

Ana prepares to go to bed, wh...

Two brooms got married...

So these two brooms had just gotten married, and they're sitting at the wedding party's table in the banquet hall enjoying dinner. The bride-broom leans over to the groom-broom and says, "You know...I was going to wait until our honey-broom to tell you this but... well... let me just ask you this: ...

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