UPJOKE
carriagecrossdisraelifallsfluharbourlakereginastationmelbourneottawaqueenvancouvervictorianvictory

Victoria's Secret Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two drunk girls stop to pee in a cemetery

Two drunk girls stopped to pee in a cemetery after a long night out drinking and partying.

The first girl squats down by the car and starts to pee. She then realizes she doesn't have anything to wipe with, so she takes her panties off and wipes herself, and throws them away.

The secon...

I know Victoria's Secret...

She used to be Victor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a kid heard her parents arguing.

She heard them yelling out bitch and bastard a couple of times. The kid intervened and asked them what does bitches and bastards mean. The mom said those words mean ladies and gentlemen.
A week later, the kid was watching TV with her dad. Later, a Victoria's Secret commercial came on, uttering th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Victoria's Secret recently invented a bra that contains Bluetooth speakers ...

... because so many women had complained that men stare at their breasts instead of listening to them.

A guy goes to Victoria's Secret to buy a babydoll... the cashier asks him if it is a surprise for his wife and he said...

it will be if she finds out!

What does a Victoria's Secret Black Friday sale have in common with a girl about to get a spanking?

Both have panties half-off.

John's wife won't let him go fishing with his buddies

They have all went together on a fishing/camping trip the past four years together. But this year she wouldn't let him. The guys were very disappointed

Two days later the other guys made it to the campsite and noticed John was sitting by a fire with a cold beer. The tent was already set and s...

Starbucks and Victoria's Secret are collaborating on a new line of designer lingerie.

Coffee cups.

I walked into a Victoria's Secret a man and came out a knight.

From this day forward I shall be known as Sir- please leave you're being creepy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear that Victoria's Secret and Smith&Wesson are merging companies?

It's gonna be called Titty-Titty Bang-Bang.

When the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show comes on the TV.

So do I.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two women go on a night out...

Two women, Mary and Margaret, go on a night out, leaving their husbands at home. After a heavy night of Guinness, and while walking home through a large cemetery they both have a strong urge to relieve themselves. They each pop a squat behind a bush, and after doing the deed Mary calls over "psssst,...

Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"

..it has lot's of support but no cup

Being seduced by the younger sister

So apparently this guy was engaged to a beautiful woman. He got along well with her family but he could not deny that her younger sister was drop-dead gorgeous and he felt a strong attraction to her. A week before the wedding, he gets a mysterious phone call from the sister asking him to come over...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The CEO of Victoria's Secret resigned today.

Apparently, the company is going tits up.

Embroidery

A young woman went into Victoria's Secret and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this, you're too close!" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes, madam," said the clerk, "I'm quite certain that could be done. What kind of lettering would you like it done in?"

"Braille," ...

Got fired from my last job for working hard

last time I work at Victoria's secret

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New company mergers

(I marked it NSFW because of the last one - not sure if it's considered NSFW, so just to be safe...)

For all of you with any money, be aware of these expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations:

1. Hale Business S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bank robber and her husband were being chased by the police

A bank robber and her husband were being chased by the police

In order to shake off the heat, the couple rushed into a Victoria's secret to blend in with the crowd and hide.

By the time two officers had shown up, the weird looks and perfume that everyone was berating them with were inc...

The Sheer Nightgown

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.