UPJOKE
jeff goldblumsteven spielbergsam neilllaura derndinosaurnetflixjurassic worldlegocaliforniaeuropemosquitoerhookgodzillascience fiction

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What does Jurassic park and the Depp v. Heard Trial have in common?

They both feature Amber full of crap.

How does a Brit let you know you’re in danger at Jurassic Park?

“A Dino-saur-us!”

I was watching Jurassic park the other day.....

.... when I thought "not only does my son have a really stupid name, he´s also a terrible driver"

Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time?

I guess the Titanic can’t survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.

So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric

Who would blow up Jurassic Park? Really?

A dino might.

Going to a restaurant alone makes me feel like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park

Everyone is just there to watch me eat.

What would "Jurassic Park" be called if it was filmed during WW2?

Jewrassic Park.

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Jeff Goldblum is a given a chance to go back to Jurassic Park

Against all advice he decides to go and is airdropped from a plane on the island. On his way down he gets awe struck by the beauty of it all and forgets to chute till it's too late.

Luckily he ends up landing on something soft and squishy. After a brief moment of relief he realizes he's stuck...

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What did they serve for lunch at Jurassic Park?

Chilean Sea Bass. Spared no expense.
Didn't you watch the movie?

I never thought they would make another Jurassic Park...

...But sequels, uh, find a way.

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An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

What movie did you go see?

My parents had great fun teasing each other and yanking each other's chains.

They were visiting me (38m at the time) and my wife+kids, and my Dad & I went out to see a movie. We found Jurassic Park I (in 3D), and went to see that. It was an enjoyable experience.

When we were on o...

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I can predict your favorite movie with one simple trick..

This math test will determine your favorite movie.
Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be Gone With The Wind. Thats my favorite movie! I was surprised how this worked.
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Be honest and dont look at the movie list till you have done the math!
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Try this test and ...

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What do pandas say on Halloween?

Bam-BOO!

That's the entire joke but this subreddit won't let me post such a short joke, so I'll tell a little story like one of those irritating-as-fuck internet recipe intros that gives WTMI.
My four year old is fascinated by finding the perfect joke. He'll often pick up on jokes from tv ...

Yo mama's so fat...

her wedding music was the jurassic park theme

Who's Ji-Sung Park's great, great, great, great, great grandfather?

Jurassic Park

What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

What do you call an ancient Korean man?

Jurassic Park

Yo mama..

is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park

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