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Unvaccinated Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask?

Ask them who won the election.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unvaccinated kids have been found to have lower IQ's than vaccinated children.

Can't blame them, their parents are dumb as fuck.

TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic

Because they are more likely to be dead

Do you know why more vaccinated than unvaccinated children have autism?

Because you have to be alive to be autistic

As a doctor, I know I should never make a joke about an unvaccinated baby.

But let me give it a shot.

I am a happy father of 5 unvaccinated children...

Edit: 4 unvaccinated children*

Edit: 3 unvaccinated children*

Edit: 2 unvaccinated children*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

You have to be alive to have autism.

I’m a proud parent of 3 Unvaccinated kids

Edit: 2 kids

Edit: 1 kid

What do you call a group of unvaccinated children?

A Plagueround

What do you call summer camp for unvaccinated kids?

Cemeteries.

Why was Karen's unvaccinated two year old crying?

Midlife crisis

Mocking anti-vaxxers on the internet these days is like unvaccinated children

It never gets old.

The irony about unvaccinated kids is....

That the jokes get old.

What game do unvaccinated kids play?

Marco Polio.

As a doctor I never make fun of unvaccinated kids.

I don’t like to joke about dead people.

Did you guys hear Djokovic started an airline for the unvaccinated?

It's called Novaks Airlines.

Vaccinanted vs Unvaccinated adults

(2045)
Vaccinated adults: Man I'm glad I grew up playing fortnite
Unvaccinated adults: Man I'm glad I grew up

What's the great thing about unvaccinated children?

The long healthy life

Don't get it?

Neither do the children

Having an unvaccinated kid is super expensive

I had to buy my 4-year old a convertible for his midlife crisis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do shitty memes and unvaccinated kids have in common.

They both die in new.

What do Valve games and unvaccinated children have in common?

They never reach 3.

What did the unvaccinated kid say to his parents?

Nothing

What does an unvaccinated child and a dog have in common?

They both live about 9-12 years

Why don’t unvaccinated kids care about the Middle Ages?

Cause they’ll never experience them.

Whom do you call when your unvaccinated teenager won't move out?

An exorcist.

What’s the hardest part of raising unvaccinated kids?

Finding a reliable necromancer.

What You Call A Unvaccinated Child On His 4th Birthday!!!

A Grave Mistake!

TV Show Pitch: 30 Unvaccinated Kids Live in a House Together

We'll call it Survivor.

How many unvaccinated children does it take to change a LED light bulb?

Doesn't matter, the light bulbs last ten years.

What do you call a student who sneezes in a class full of unvaccinated children?

A terrorist.

Why did the unvaccinated 3 year old want a new car?

He was having a mid-life crisis,

What does a dropout and an unvaccinated child have in common?

They never get past the fourth grade.

What does an unvaccinated kid tell his friends to justify his choice?

Life is too short.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a crap meme format and and an unvaccinated child?

Only one dies after going viral.

I was going to dress up my unvaccinated kids as the measles this Halloween

But they’re all dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new study shows that unvaccinated children are shown to have lower rates of autism than vaccinated children.

Because a dead two year old can't be fucking diagnosed with autism.

Vaccinated kids are more likely to develop autism

The unvaccinated die before they get the chance

After extensive research, I've concluded that unvaccinated children will have a higher chance of not being on the Autistic Spectrum

Instead, they have a considerable higher chance of being dead...

Why do some coffins have pillows? They aint gonna wake up with a sore neck

Thats like thinking about what college you want your unvaccinated kid to go to

Everyone asks "what's up", but do you wanna know what's down?

The bodies of unvaccinated children

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and an antivaxx adult find a $100 bill on the ground, who picks it up?

The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist.

Anti Vaxx

Dating a girl with an unvaccinated kid is like adopting an old dog. You feel like you're being a good person for accepting it, then you get attached and they die when they're 12.

A little girl came up to me today and said she was having a midlife crisis.

I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"

She said "6"

I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"

She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."

"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you...

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