What is the favourite city of dutch rodents?

Hamsterdam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw two rodents giving each other oral sex

Mice

A tourist wandering through the back alleys of San Francisco’s Chinatown finds his way into an antique store

A bronze statue of a rat catches his eye, and he asks for its price.


“The rat costs twelve dollars,” the shopkeeper says, “and it will be a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.”


The tourist, being a shrewd American, pays for the rat, telling the old man he can keep hi...

What do you call terrorist rodents?

MISIS

What do you call 6.022x10^23 rodents?

A Mol Rat

What do you call it when rodents invade a beaver colony?

Hamsterdam

Where do you find red eyed rodents?

Hamsterdam!

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tenant goes to the landlord and tells him there are mice in his apartment

-I know these kinds of hoaxes, it wont work on me, but let me see those "mice" you're talking about - says the landlord.

So they go to the apartment that is right on the top of the building, they open the door and ... no mice whatsoever.

The landlord angrily asks the tenant why he so b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lost goat

So these two redneck guys are walking through a forest and hunting for squirrels and rodents and shit. They come across a giant sink hole in a wide open cut of the forest. One redneck says to the other “ I wonder how deep this here hole is.” The other redneck says “let’s find something to throw in t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ernie the Hamster

I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. Here's what happened:


Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me, "I'm serious,


Dad....

MOUSE HOLE

This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back." "I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes." "That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonig...

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed.

He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.

O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bombs and Berries (Long) (Original)

Back Story: During World War 2, it was super cold in Nazi Germany. The American troops were told if they were ever in a rough situation, to look for frozen squirrels at the base of trees. Then place the frozen squirrel between their thighs (the warmest part of the body) to warm it up. The squirls wo...

So I was at a conference for experimental philosophy...

and it was getting a bit dull so I turned to the guy next to me and asked

"So, what do you do?"

He lit up, eager to tell all.
"Well, I'm studying the effects of introducing rodents to Nihilistic thinking through an intricate series of signals and experiments. Nice to meet cha!"
<...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.