A farm was bombed and only one cow survived.

All the udders died.

So, this dairy farmer takes his son out to learn about milking for the first time.

After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."

"Just past...

What do you call a suicidal lacotose-intollerant person?

A danger to themselves and udders

Never tell a cow a joke

It’ll just go in through one ear and out through the udders.

Why are dairy farmers non-monogamous?

They see udders.

My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior.

He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.

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