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Tool Box Jokes

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What does a tool box and a penis have in common

They both come in handy

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A plumber apprentice, carrying a large, heavy tool box and a master plumber go out for a job.

They get to an overflowing sewer with poop floating on top. The master puffs his cigarette a few times and put it to rest on a rock. Takes his hat off, hold his breath and dips his head into the water to take a look. After a second or so, gets his head out:

"Give me the 9/16 wrench!"
...

A telephone technician gets his wiener bitten by a rattlesnake while peeing on a bush.

He and his coworker where fixing some phone lines in a remote location, far from the city.

His coworker, not knowing what to do, climbs to the top of the telephone pole, connects his service telephone to the wires and calls 911.

The guy on the pole: "Hello, emergencies? My coworker was...

An electrical engineer, mechanical engineer, and software engineer are on their way to a trade show

when their car stalls and they are forced to pull over to the side of the road.

The mechanical engineer says, “It’s probably a mechanical problem. I’ll get my tool box out of the trunk and I can fix it.”

The electrical engineer says, “No, I’ll bet it’s an electrical problem. I have my ...

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2 of Them

A bloke is pottering about in his garage,changing his fan belt on his car,when little Johnny from next door walks in and say's "do ya mind if I watch ya Mr?"

"No not at all" replies the bloke and gets a spanner from his toolbox.

Little Johnny say's "My dad's got 2 of them ya know!"
...

What is another name for a Nissan Cube?

A tool box.

Henry would have recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house

There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. While the nightmare would always end with the burglar failing to enter, Henry still feared that this could be an omen. Every morning after checking for signs of a break in and findi...

An Engineer, a Physicist and an A&P Aircraft Mechanic

An Engineer, a Physicist and an A&P aircraft mechanic were all having an argument as to who was the smartest. One of them proposed a contest to settle the matter once and for all.

For the contest, they would lock each of them in a room with three ball bearings for one week. At the end of...

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Three men show up at the Pearly Gates...

Right before closing one day three men show up to the Pearly Gates for judgement. The case manager angel on duty was quite put out with the prospect of staying late so rather than looking through the life history of each of the men he decided to admit them based on how cool their death story was. <...

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