What do you call it when your are tracking an animal in a thrift store
Good Will Hunting
I bought a thesaurus from a thrift store. When I got home I opened it and every single page was completely blank.
I have no words to describe my anger.
A blonde walks into a thrift store
And says to the clerk, "I'd like to buy that tv right there." The clerk says "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde grunts, and then walks out. She comes back a week later with a red wig on and says "I'd like to buy that tv right there." The clerk says once again, "Sorry, but we don't sell to...
A new thrift store just opened up in my town, and all proceeds go to Parkinson's research...
you get a 10% discount if you do the secret hand shake.
My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.
He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.
For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...
There was a fire yesterday at my local thrift store
A person died of secondhand smoke
This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔
A man meets a finds a genie lamp in a thrift store...
And after giving it a quick rub, a genie pops out!
"I am Shazam, I and I will grant you a wish. Money, fame, I can give you anything. Even a bigger dick if you so desire."
"Well, my wife has been complaining about my sex recently, so why not," he replies.
"Very well then. In th...
Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop?
The killer was said to be goodwill hunting.
My wife has been in a coma for two weeks now and doctors have told me to expect the worst.
So I've had to go to all the thrift stores and get her clothes back.
An old miser, because of his exceptional thrift, had no friends. Just before he died he called his doctor, lawyer, and minister together around his bedside. "I have always heard you can't take it with you, but I'm going to prove I can" , he said. "I have $90,000 in cash under my mattress. It's in th...
So i went to an shop to buy a vacuum cleaner...
And i looked at the prices, one was $100 the other was $99.
I looked in my pocket and i had $200.
But they were too cheap, so i went to look in a thrift shop for something better.
When i got there, one was $130, the other $200 and the other $100.
But those were all used v...
What if net neutrality didn’t work.
Facebook could be the thrift shop for reddit.
A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the Obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The Editor informs her that there is a charge of one dollar per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well then, let it read: 'Fred Brown died.' " Amused at the Woma...
Our family never could afford much nice for Christmas...
So one year I told my mom "I just want something I can play with." She said ok, went to the local thrift store to find me something, got me a good old used pair of overalls about my size and cut me a hole in the right pocket.
A joke from the old man at value village
Man: Where are you from? Originally?
Man: you know, you can't take a picture of a man with a wooden leg there.
Me: why's that?
Man: because wooden legs can't take pictures!
I was in line at the local value village (thrift store), probably looking pre...
Frank's wife goes missing
Frank's wife goes missing and a week later he bumps into his friend Larry on the street. "Frank! How are you? You look a little worse for wear. Any news on your wife?"
"Hi Larry, I'm alright. They said I should be prepared for the worst."
"Oh god that's awful!" Larry sympathises. ...