Rich people start their meals by saying "Bless us oh Lord for these thine gifts..."

Poor people say "Ramen."

A Yorkshire man's beloved wife passed away.

He went to the headstone maker to sort out the stone for her grave. Being a devout man, he decided the inscription should read 'She was thine'. The stonemason told him to return a week later.
A week later the man returns to inspect the stone. The proud stonemason wheeled it out in a trolley. It ...

Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarcerati...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four nuns stand before the gates of heaven

Four nuns stand before the gates of heaven.

Petrus comes over an tells them: "As you probably know, only those free of sin may enter. Confess you sins now and wash them away in yonder basin of holy water."


The first nun steps forward and confesses: "I once laid eyes upon the genita...

Real Middle-aged Texting.

Man: "Fair maiden, wherest doth thou reside on this fair evening?"

Woman: "Good sir, I am trapped within the reside of mine parents"

Man: "Oh, mine love, how I wish mineself were trapped in thine reside so I could bury my face deep within thine bossom."

Woman: "Mine parents shal...

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