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The Purple Jokes

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The Purple Spotted Penis

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen...

Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...

Lives in the White House.

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The purple flower joke. (Very long)

Once there was a boy in 5th grade, and he really liked this girl (simp) and he knew that she liked the color purple.

So one day during recess he found these purple flowers and decided to make his move on the girl, so he walked up to her (with the flowers) and said "You are my purple flower" a...

Did y'all hear about the purple stegosaurus?

He stuck out like a dinosaur thumb!

The Purple Pirate

This is not a good joke, my Dad told it to me years ago and I haven't seen it here yet.

There was once a purple pirate who sailed the 7 purple seas. One purple day, as the sky was clear and purple the purple pirate landed his purple ship on a purple island.

The Purple pirate explored t...

Why did the CSI team get called to the set of the Purple Rain video shoot.

They needed to dust for Prince.

I just found out I’m colour blind

News came out of the purple.

I just found out I'm colorblind

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

I Dyed A Bit When I Wrote This

Many years ago, I came home from work one day and noticed my fiance had dyed her hair.

“Purple, really?”

“Fushia”

“What’s the difference?”

“Fuschia is purple with some red and pink in it., It’s not really purple.”

I gave her a hard time for a long time, until she g...

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The purple feather

Billy was walking to school when he spotted a purple feather on the side of the road . "A purple feather! I can't wait to show everyone" he exclaimed. It was lunch time at school and Billy decided to show his friend Jacob. Jacob held the feather and asked "how did you find this?" Billy replied "I w...

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The Purple Flower

So there's this guy walking to school and on his way there he sees these two girls talking to each other. He drops in on their conversation and hears them talking about a purple flower. He thought to himself "Purple flower?" and stops to think about it. He realizes he's late for school and runs as f...

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You and 2 friends of yours walk through a forest

after a while you lot stumble upon a hut, from which a weird old lady, resembling a witch, comes out from. She slowly says
*"...do not step on the purple flower..."*
and then goes back into her hut.

A little confused, you exchange looks with your friends, shrug, and keep walking.
...

Suit

Two business partners bought a special lot of suits. In the lot was a purple one, which they couldn't sell. One of the partners became so angry about the purple suit, he went home, I won't be back until you sell it, he said furiously, slamming the door behind him. His partner called him at home in ...

The colorblind test results came in,

turns out I'm indeed color blind, that totally came out of the purple.

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A husband bought his wife a new sex toy for her birthday...

and it was voice operated. It was newest model of Vibro-dick: self-propelled and voice activated.

He brought it home to his from the sex shop in a gift wrapped box with a bow. She unwrapped the box and was surprised.

"Honey, I've never used a sex toy. I don't know if I'll like."
...

A man was on a hike with his best friend.

They’re walking up a hill, talking about what had happened during their childhood. About halfway through the height, the man spots a purple flower out of the corner of his eye. He goes over to it and picks it up. He turns to his friend and says,
“Hey, look! A purple flower!”

His friends ...

Went to the opticians.

She told me that I was color blind.


Well I must say, that came right out of the purple.

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperat...

I just got diagnosed as colorblind.

I know, it certainly has come out of the purple.

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My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

White Elephant

An old farmer is tending his crop one day when he spies a white elephant trampling the edge of his field. He knows that there are four different types of elephants in his area: red elephants, blue elephants, purple elephants, and white elephants.

To kill a blue elephant you use a blue elep...

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