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The Offspring Jokes

Dexter Holland wasn't always lead singer of the Offspring

Long ago he was in the seafood industry. He had a job shucking oysters for a restaurant. Anyway, one day he sees an ad for a competition in oyster shucking, but it is a team challenge. He shows up solo, and knows he won't be let in. His confidence is low at this point, but he still signs up. The att...

Breaking: Dexter Holland from The Offspring has declared bankruptcy after pouring most of the band's savings into this week's lottery tickets.

He asked for a 13, but they drew a 31.

What do you call the offspring of snowmen?

Chilldren.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After experiencing Nirvana during sex, but before you make The Offspring, what do you produce?

Pearl Jam.

What do you call the offspring of a elephant and a rhino?

Elephino

What do you call the offspring of a king and queen mattress?

An heir mattress...

Some of my friends make The Offspring puns, some of them violently hate them

I guess I gotta keep em separated

Contender for worst joke of the day: What do you call the offspring of farm chickens?

Children of the Cornish Hens.

Would have been 'better' if I had remembered to write it correctly... (eye roll).

Was supposed to be: What do you call the evil offspring of farm chickens?

Ah well... that's why you don't write distracted. *Though, I just did*

What would be the offspring of a vixen and a rooster?

A foxy chick.

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?

Guac!

What do you get when you cross a human being with a horrendous reality?

Suffering. You get suffering.

This isn't a joke, if you procreate you are gambling with someone else's wellbeing .

It doesn't matter how happy you may be, immense suffering exists.

Procreation inherently imposes a possibility of it occuring to the offspring, and it's beyond you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a chicken and a duck laid an egg that hatched

Would the offspring be called a Cuck or a Dick

Two Ranchers make a deal.

One rancher has the largest bull in Texas and the second rancher has the best milking cow in the county. They decide to mate the two and split the offspring between them.

They lead the bull to the cow, but the cow walk away disinterested. The bull tries to mount the cow, but the cow walks aw...

Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise encountered an unknown alien craft

However, they proved to be friendly, and soon a dialog was reached. After discussing quite a few differences in culture, they came to reproduction.

One of the aliens said "Let me demonstrate" and a small swelling appeared on his arm. After a couple of minutes, the swelling became the form o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Indian boy had spent most of his life in a quandary.

.. He felt different yet.

.. couldn't figure why.

.. he was just so depressed. He went to the Chief for answers.

.. He asked the chief how his brother Red Deer Running had gotten his name.

..

The chief answered in his typically poetic way.

.."When Red Deer R...

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