An irate woman bursts through the doors of a bar, angrily screaming, "All lawyers are assholes!"
This enrages a patron at the end of the bar, who stands up and shouts, "Hey! I take offense to that!" "Why?" she asks, sneering at him, "You a lawyer or something?"
"No," he retorts, "I'm an asshole!"
Why did the chicken listen to The Doors?
To break on through to the other side.
When Noah's Ark settled safely after the flood, he opened the doors and commanded the animals, “Go forth and multiply."
All the animals departed from the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaimed again, “Go forth and multiply,” but the snakes stayed put. Perturbed, Noah asked them, “Why have you not followed my command?”
*“We can’t multiply. We’re Adders.”*
My boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to walk out the door
So I jammed my knee into his stomach.
“You can’t leave, I kneed you”
So i went to the record shop and asked the assistant 'What have you got by the Doors? "
He said "An exit sign and a fire bucket"