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Elvis Presley Jokes

I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?

Yes, how can I help you?

Hi, This is little Billy’s music teacher calling

Oh, hi

Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!

Really? Wow! That’s..

Yeah, we just found him dea...

What do you call a middle eastern Elvis Presley impersonator?

Amal Shookup

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elvis tattoo

Women walks into tattoo shop and asks artist if he could do a portrait tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh. He says of course and they negotiate a price $500 and he gets to work.

After a few hours the artist says it’s done. Women looks at the tattoo and was not satisfied. “That’s an e...

I was just on the phone with a company that said I won my choice of either $500 or tickets to see an Elvis Presley tribute band...

I had to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show!

An Elvis Presley fan decides to get his likeness tattooed on each of her thighs.

However, she was not entirely pleased with the end result. One night, during a particularly successful tinder date, she decided to get a second opinion. Flipping on the lights and lifting her frock she asked her date "Does this look like Elvis to you?" After a moment of careful study, her date repli...

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!"

I'm all shook up…

A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh

A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh, but she didn’t think it looked like Elvis at all. She complained to the artist who reluctantly agreed to try to redo the tattoo in the same spot on the other leg, which the woman agreed to.

After the artist was done, the woman realize...

My music teacher called me that my son is like Elvis Presley I was so proud

Then the teacher said: Yeah we found him dead on the toilets

Elvis Presley reportedly sent back shoes because they said "Made In China".

He always wanted a little less Converse Asian

I have an idea for a chain of Elvis Presley steak houses.

It will be for people who love meat tender.

To celebrate the launch of the new website we are offering one lucky winner $50 in cash or a meal for 2 at an Elvis Presley tribute.

Just comment '1' for the money or '2' for the show.

A lady decides to get a tattoo

A lady who is a huge Elvis fan decides on his birthday to get a tattoo of the King to commemorate his life.

She goes to a well-known tattoo artist in town and asks that he put the ink on the inside of her thigh. The artist draws it out and asked her, “Do you like the design, and is right her...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of the papal visit, I submit the worst, longest, most tortuous pope joke I know.

It's 1969.

China and the Soviet Union are on the brink of open hostilities. The war would kill us all. And only the pope can save the day.

Well, so thinks Richard Nixon.

See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he...

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John was starting to worry about his 12 year old son Jack.

Jack was a D student, and only because John helped complete all of Jack's homework. Jack wasn't good at sports. He didn't have many friends. And it seemed like once a week he was getting called into the principal's office for some sort of misbehavior. So John told Jack, in a last ditch effort to get...

STILL THE KING

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and ...

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