What was Elvis Presley's last greatest hit?

The bathroom floor.

Be careful, I just received a scam phone call saying I had won tickets to see a tribute act for Elvis Presley or £20,000. Cash.

It said press one for the money. Or two for the show.

My music teacher called me that my son is like Elvis Presley I was so proud

Then the teacher said: Yeah we found him dead on the toilets

What do you call a middle eastern Elvis Presley impersonator?

Amal Shookup

An old lady goes into a tattoo shop and says to the tattoo artist, "I want a tattoo of Elvis Presley on my inner thigh."

The artist agrees and says that he would be happy to do a portrait of Elvis for her.

He finishes up the tattoo and tells the old lady to check it out. She looks down and is furious. "This looks nothing like Elvis! I'm not paying for this!" she yells.

"Are you kidding me? That's th...

To celebrate the launch of the new website we are offering one lucky winner $50 in cash or a meal for 2 at an Elvis Presley tribute.

Just comment '1' for the money or '2' for the show.

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!"

I'm all shook up…

Elvis Presley reportedly sent back shoes because they said "Made In China".

He always wanted a little less Converse Asian

I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?

Yes, how can I help you?

Hi, This is little Billy’s music teacher calling

Oh, hi

Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!

Really? Wow! That’s..

Yeah, we just found him dea...

A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh

A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh, but she didn’t think it looked like Elvis at all. She complained to the artist who reluctantly agreed to try to redo the tattoo in the same spot on the other leg, which the woman agreed to.

After the artist was done, the woman realize...

I have an idea for a chain of Elvis Presley steak houses.

It will be for people who love meat tender.

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John was starting to worry about his 12 year old son Jack.

Jack was a D student, and only because John helped complete all of Jack's homework. Jack wasn't good at sports. He didn't have many friends. And it seemed like once a week he was getting called into the principal's office for some sort of misbehavior. So John told Jack, in a last ditch effort to get...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of the papal visit, I submit the worst, longest, most tortuous pope joke I know.

It's 1969.

China and the Soviet Union are on the brink of open hostilities. The war would kill us all. And only the pope can save the day.

Well, so thinks Richard Nixon.

See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he...

STILL THE KING

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and ...

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