This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a little sparrow who decided to be different from all the other birds by not flying south for the winter.

Needless to say, it soon got so cold that the little bird reluctantly started south anyway. A storm blew in, the little bird grew cold, and ice formed on his wings which caused him to fall to the ground in a barnyard. A cow wandered by and shit on him. This may seem terrible, but it warmed the po...

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.

One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns...

Why did you ruin the Thanksgiving turkey at the last minute?

It just wasn't very well thawed out.
(it's bad, but it's mine)

What did the man say after eating a frozen pizza?

That wasn't well thawed out.

I created a better way to defrost chicken

It was well thawed out.

Last night for dinner, we had frozen fish.

It wasn't very well thawed out...

The cryogenics company was going out of business so I had to take my parents head's home. We were never close,...

...our relations were thawed

Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a very well thawed out plan

My plan was to skip shoveling and just let the snow melt.

It wasnt well thawed out.

Made the mistake of biting into some half frozen food

Realized that wasn't well thawed out.

A little girl asked her dad what he thought of Frozen...

"It was not very well thawed out."

Greg was so hungry he ate a frozen steak.

He hadn't really thawed it out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little bird was flying in the cold,

he froze and fell to the ground. A cow walked by and shat on the bird. The bird thawed up and started singing joyfully. A nearby cat heard the singing, so he dug up the bird and ate it.

So, the morals of this story:

* Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
* Not everyone who h...

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