UPJOKE
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What would two termites order at a restaurant?

Table for 2

What do termites and nymphomaniacs have in common?

They are after your wood.

Termite Food

So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused.

Out of curiosity, I asked the driver if he ever worried about termites getting into his trailer....

Two termites walk into a bar and ask

Is the bar tender here?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An interesting story

There once was a King of a tribe in Africa. He lived in a huge, round house made of grass, typical of all the others in the village, except that his was the largest. By day he sat on the stump of a tree, which had been brought into his hut, and covered with animal skins. Everyone else sat on the flo...

Two termites go on a date..

Waiter: what would you like to order sir?
Termite: Table for two.

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What flavor do termites like best?

Chair-y

Two termites walk into a pub...

A waitress asks if she can help them. "No," they say, "We'd just like to know, is the bar tender here?"

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

Outside my school there is an unfortunate tree

It has been hit by a car, struck by lightning, and now infested with termites.

What a poor sap

The king

Once there was a great tribal king. Fearlessly, he led his troops into battle. He settled disputes fairly, and ruled with grace and compassion. And he lived a humble life. No palaces for this king; he lived in a straw hut just like the rest of his subjects, and shared out the tribes resources so tha...

Kids

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you....

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