Two termites walk in to a bar

And say table for two please

There were two termites discussing what to have for dinner.

“I was thinking about a steak” one termite said.
“The edible one or the wooden one?” Asked the other.
The first one asked, “what’s the difference?”

Two termites walk into a restaurant

Waitress asks:

-What would you like to order?

-A table for two.

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What flavor do termites like best?

Chair-y

Two termites walk into a pub...

A waitress asks if she can help them. "No," they say, "We'd just like to know, is the bar tender here?"

Outside my school there is an unfortunate tree

It has been hit by a car, struck by lightning, and now infested with termites.

What a poor sap

The king

Once there was a great tribal king. Fearlessly, he led his troops into battle. He settled disputes fairly, and ruled with grace and compassion. And he lived a humble life. No palaces for this king; he lived in a straw hut just like the rest of his subjects, and shared out the tribes resources so tha...

Kids

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you....

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