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Tendencies Jokes

I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies.

He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Went to my therapist last week and informed him I had suicidal tendencies....

He told me I needed to start paying in advance.

What do you call it when someone exhibits lizard-like tendencies?

A reptile dysfunction.

What's the difference between astronauts and people with suicidal tendencies?

Their interpretations of the phrase, "good bye world".

When you donate sperm they ask if you have any “sociopathic tendencies”.

I was like “other than creating people for money? ..No.”

My daughter has said she's been having suicidal tendencies and she asked for my support.

So I bought her some rope.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the definition of a masochist with necrobeastiality tendencies?

Someone who literally gets off beating a dead horse.

My friends always say that I have narcissistic tendencies. I should get mad...

...but I love when they talk about me.

Went to the shrink today..

My doctor said that my narcissistic tendencies cause me to misread social interactions.

I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist's office, and screams...

"Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!"

The doctor calmly answers "Pay me in advance"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenaged farmboy is tending to his family's cattle

When his father comes out to the pasture. He says, 'Son, another family in town is paying us to breed more cattle for 'em. Take our three largest heifers over to their farm where their breeding bull is waiting.'
The son dutifully walks the mile or so with their three cows over to the Anderson far...

Dave and Joe were best friends

Joe and his family went on vacation for about a week, but when he came back, Dave noticed that he was very different, his mood and tendencies had completely changed.

This was not the same Joe.

The smoking gun was that Joe's eyes were not his usual green, but blue.

He flew to J...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher asks students to use incompletely in a sentence

A teacher asked the students to use incompletely in a sentence. One student raises her hand and says " my homework is incomplete". The teacher says " close but I said to use incompletely". Little johnny raises his hand but knowing little johnnys tendencies the teacher was afraid to call on him. ...

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