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Sullen Jokes

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A young man walks into a bar looking annoyed and sullen. "What's the matter, son?" asks an older patron.

The young man sighs.

"I have a girlfriend who's very nice and very pretty."

"So? What's the problem?"

"Actually, she's not just pretty. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life."

"That sounds great."

"Not only that, she also adores me and wants to b...

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The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.

"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous!"

The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you thi...

A Calvinist arrived at the Gates of Heaven.

He sees that there are two lines going in. One has a sign that reads "predestined," and the other, "free will". He naturally heads to the predestined line.

While waiting, an angel comes and asks him "Why are you in this line?"

He replies, "Because I chose it."

The angel looks su...

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While we're on nun jokes: one night, two leprechauns knocked at the door of the convent.

The Mother Superior answered and was taken quite by surprise at the sight. One leprechaun was sullen and silent, while the other seemed quite friendly. This latter asked, "please pardon our intrusion, Mother Superior, but I wish to ask you, is there a nun at your convent who is about two and a half...

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As I settled down on my friend’s couch for the night, he asked me...

“So your wife kicked you out for drinking too much on a fishing trip and sticking your dick in a net?”

“No” I replied sullenly. “Annette”

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A doctor comes up to a man with some bad news, “I’m afraid you’re blind” the doctor says

After a long pause the man says in a sullen voice “...I see”

The doctor jumps up, throws his clipboard at the ground and shouts “STUPID FUCKING MEDICAL DEGREE DIDN’T TEACH ME SHIT”

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An Englishman, an Irishman & a Leprechaun in a bar...

An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter.

As he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says, “Hey, what’s that...

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An arrogant man who often judged others for the slightest misdeeds dies and finds himself waiting in heaven to be judged by god...

A man finds himself in a line to see "God". He can hear the conversations God has with each person as they reach the front of the line. Apparently the Lord is using a particular method to expedite coming up with proper punishments.

"No one knows your sins better than you my child, thus you sh...

A white nationalist walks into a bar.

He sits sullenly at the bar amidst a sea of minorities and sighs heavily. The bartender comes around and asks what he can get for him.

The white nationalist replies: "Can I get a country where I can live among people from my own ancestry? It is like this nation isn't even mine anymore. We ...

So George W. Bush is in his office..

when his secretary of defense walks in, "we lost 2 Brazilians in Iraq today."
GW puts his head in his hands looks up very sullen and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Bob Had Terrible BO...

And no matter how much he washed or scrubbed, he couldn't get rid of it. He tried hundreds of soaps and shampoos but nothing seemed to work. He showered five times a day, kept the AC on 24/7 and avoided garlic and beans like the plague, but alas people still gagged as they walked behind him.

...

A lawyer, priest and doctor... (pretty long joke)

A doctor, priest and lawyer have a wealthy friend on his deathbed. The wealthy man tells them "I know they say you can't take it with you but I'm willing to try. I'm going to give you duffel bags with 5 million in cash each and at my funeral I want each of you to put it in my grave". Sure enough the...

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A day in the ER

Sean Bean's wife brings her husband into the Emergency department with a broken nose and a bruised shoulder. During triage the nurse asks how the Sean sustained the injuries. After a nudge from his wife, he sullenly replies "I was looking over my shoulder and walked into a door." The nurse wonders h...

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Told to me by a miner, so you know it's bad.

A reporter is doing an article about West Virginia, as he is compiling and editing he realizes that he has no human interest story. So he heads out to a local bar and sees an old timer sitting by himself. He explains the situation and asks him what he's like.

The old timer responds, "what do ...

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A man falls ill and misses days of work

As his paycheck is short he is unable to stop at the cantina and drink with his friends, upset he kicks an OLD tequila bottle releasing a decrepit looking jin.

"I am the tequila genie," says the jin "As you have released me I owe you, but as you can see I have lost much power and can only off...

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A Dying Dad's Will

A son visits his father in the hospital and finds his old man lying in bed hooked up to oxygen. The two father and son had a big fight long ago and so they haven't talked to each other in years. He seems thankful and almost happy his son's come to visit him. Sullen, the son sits down on the chair ne...

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A man is nervous about his second date...

...Because of a problem he's been having. Every time he looked at her on their first date he got a raging, obvious erection. He went to his best friend for advice before the second date.

"It's a simple solution, dude. Just grab some gauze and use it to wrap your dick to your leg. That way, th...

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The Polar Bear joke

A little polar bear comes home from school and starts asking, "Mum, mum, mum, mum..."

"WHAT?!" she asks.

"Mum, am I a polar bear?"

"Ha ha, of course you're a polar bear,' she replies, "I'm a polar bear, your dad's a polar bear, all your brothers and sisters are polar bears t...

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