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Street Vendor Jokes

A policeman walks by a street vendor

Policeman:”What are you selling?”

Vendor:” Apple seeds... $5 a pop!”

Policeman:”What???Why would anyone want to eat apple seed?”

Vendor:” They make you smarter!”

Policeman:” OK, give me one (swallows it)... wait a minute? For $5 I could have bought a pound of apples and g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a street vendor and a Dachshund dog?

One bawls out his wares on the street. The other wears out his balls on the street.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a street vendor and a Dachshund dog?

One bawls out his wares on the street.
The other wears out his balls on the street.
(I didn’t want to put the second part of the answer up but I figured I’d have to explain the joke if I didn’t- LOL)

A guy was buying mangoes at a junction from a street vendor and while waiting for his change he saw an old woman and a little girl.

The little girl was walking a bit faster than the old woman which made the old woman shouting; " Degree wait for me". The guy was astonished after hearing such an unusual name. So to satisfy his curiosity he walked closer to the old woman and asked; "Mam, why do you call your granddaughter Degree?" ...

What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor?

One with everything

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Vagina flavor lollipop

A street vendor was shouting "Vagina flavor lollipops, get your vagina flavor lollipops here!"

A man approaches and says "This can't be real, but I'll have one please" the man licks it.
"Uugh.. This taste like shit!"

"Turn it around" says the vendor

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Health Violation

A man orders a hot dog with relish from a street vendor. The vendor grabs the dog with his bare hands and puts it on a bun. He then applies the relish with his fingers. The man pulls out a badge and says, "I'm the health inspector and I'm shutting you down!" The vendor pleads with the inspector and ...

"Spend $10 get 10% off, Spend $20 get 20% off, Spend $30 get 30% off!!"

Shouts a street vendor.
I said to myself "I must not be too greedy." So I decided to spend $100.

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A silly joke my grandpa used to tell me

A man is walking down a roadside when he sees a street vendor selling umbrellas. One of them catches his eye, so he walks over, points at the umbrella and asks, "How much for this one?"

"$20," the vendor says.

The man knew that an umbrella being sold on the street would barely last in ...

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Well, turn it around

A young man walking down the street sees a street vendor selling apples 1 for $5. Appalled at the price he stops and inquires about the over priced fruit.

“What’s so special about these apples?” Asked the young man.

“Well they’re 2 flavored apples.” Replied the vendor. “One side tast...

A pair of Amish girls visiting NYC decide to try hot dogs for the first time

They buy two hot dogs wrapped in foil from a street vendor and sit down on a nearby bench, excited to finally try this modern cuisine.

The first girl opens the foil, blushes with embarrassment, and shyly asks the second girl, "What part of the dog did you get?"

X-ray Parrot

A street vendor claims that his pet parrot can tell the color of the panties of the women walking by.

Three nuns come by and the parrot yells "yellow, white, green!"

The nuns are impressed.

The next day the parrot says "blue, orange, purple!!" and the nuns can't believe it....

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A devout Catholic and his friend go to the Vatican...

and the friend gets really hungry, so he buys a bag of roasted peanuts from a street vendor. Being used to his local bar customs, he begins to throw the peanut shells on the floor of the Sistine Chapel.

They are fortunate enough to attend a Mass conducted by the Pope himself. After the se...

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