Stand Up Comedian Jokes - 15 Hilarious Stand Up Comedian Jokes

I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian

I can stand up, now all I need is comedy

A Russian stand up comedian was joking about the Putin.

Jokes were good. I liked the execution.

Teacher asks students for their favourite stand up comedians

Students start naming their favourite comedians.

Then one kid says : Joe Biden.

Another kid follows with : Donald Trump.

Political debate starts. When the teacher finaly quiets down the class there is only the person who didn't say who their favourite is, is the quiet kid.
...

When I told everyone I was gonna become a professional stand up comedian, they all laughed…

Well, they’re not laughing now!

Im a stand up comedian and magician...

One joke and the audience disappears!

Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand up comedian?

Apparently it’s all about the delivery for some people...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a lousy trashy stand up comedian and a father telling jokes about stationery?

One is bad at telling dick jokes.
The other is dad at telling Bic jokes.

What do stand up comedians do when their legs get tired?

They do sit-coms

Who do they bring in if the stand up comedian dies during the show?

A stand in comedian

My dream is to be recognised as one of the best stand up comedian ever!

Shame I’m in a wheelchair

A stand up comedian named Michael went to get his appendix removed. What did he call the night of his surgery?

Open Mike Night

I Was in Russia a few weeks ago

And I was watching a stand up comedian making jokes about Putin. To be honest I didnt really care for the jokes, but I liked the execution.

Deaf standup:

I know a deaf stand up comedian and he’s one of the funniest comedians I’ve ever seen, he doesn’t have good jokes it’s just the way he tells them

I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly...

She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...

(credit to a Russian stand up comedian Alexander Sobolevsky, he does these neat one liners)

Only good thing to have come out of my accident and becoming paraplegic is realising what my dream job is

Stand up comedian

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.