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Why do vampires hate running a big business?

Too many stakeholders.

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Why do vampires never create new businesses?

They're afraid of the stakeholders

(A joke I just made up)

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Why did the vampire refuse to attend the interdepartmental meeting?

He didn’t want to face that many stakeholders.

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Why did the boardroom executives have slabs of meat in their hands?

They were all stakeholders.

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Why do vampires make terrible businessmen?

>!They can't deal with stakeholders!<

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A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk

So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting

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Why was the vampire removed as CEO?

He couldn't appeal to the stakeholders.

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Dracula says he doesn't want to become an investment banker..

He said he hates stakeholders.

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Seminar topic at the annual vampire conference

"How to Deal with Stakeholders"

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