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Enema Jokes

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There were a couple of strange items at the estate sale of a eccentric collector. One was a couple of Dolly Parton's used bras, the other King Edwards used Enema...

The appraiser was surprised that they sold at all, especially the used enema, as it still had fecal matter on it. What surprised him most is that the enema actually sold for more money than the bras. The auctioneer wasn't surprised at all because he plays poker and knows that a royal flush always ...

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I’ve been thinking of getting a pickle bread enema, but I’m having second thoughts.

I’m not sure how I feel about putting a dill dough up my ass.

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She swore to me she used an enema before we had anal sex

turns out she was full of shit.



(apologies if a similar joke has been done before)

The Enema.

One night during a Broadway performance, the curtain suddenly came down and the stage manager stood before the audience.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but we have to stop the show. The leading man just died!"

After a gasp from the crowd, a little old lady in the balcony shouted, "Give him an...

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I went to meet a girl from Tinder. Her profile said she was into erotic enemas.

Turns out she was full of shit.


(Just thought of this one, you can probably guess where I'm currently posting from.)

Last week I was so constipated....

I tried prunes and other home remedies with no relief. I was about to buy a rectal suppository but then I remembered an old friend who was a proctologist....

...and with friends like this who needs enemas.

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Fuck Autocorrect!

It‘s my worst enema.

What do you get when the government gets involved in digestive issues.

An enema of the state.

My Doctor finally managed to cure me of my obsession with the Muppets



He gave me an enema

followed by a Doo Doo do do do

A lawyer died and was so big they almost had to bury him in a piano case.

Instead they gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.

My best friend is a proctologist

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With friends like him, who needs enemas

I've come to realize if I ever had an enema

I'd lose all of my personality

How do you brain wash a politician?

Give him an enema.

If 2020 was a drink, what kind of drink would it be?

A: An Enema

A friend of mine is ex military and recently needed surgery.

Just before his surgery was scheduled I went to see him. Upon knocking on his door he asked, friend or enema?

When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee.

Oh, I've tried other enemas…

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A man goes to his village medicine man and requests a colonic for his constipation.

The medicine man ponders for a moment and says, “Let’s try something else first.” He opens a jar and pulls out a dried out fern. He places the fern into a cup of hot water and waits as it brews. “Here, take a sip.” The man does as he is told. Suddenly, his eyes rolls back in his head, followed by th...

You know what they say when you have a proctologist for a friend...

With a friend like that, you don't need an enema.

How do you brainwash an anti-vaxxer?

With an enema.

A proctologist was losing too much money…

A proctologist was losing too much money. Her accountant came over for a consultation and quickly spotted the problem.

“You’re spending far too much on staffing. You’ve simply got to reduce your labor costs in order to survive.”

The proctologist puzzled over how to cut down. Given her...

My friend took me water skiing behind his boat.

When I fell, my foot got caught in the line and he thought it would be funny to drag me around like that for a few minutes.

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

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I want to start a shitty hip hop group...

called Public Enema.

What did they do with the politician who couldn't fit in his coffin?

Gave him an enema and buried him in a shoe box

Traveler's complaint

A man is enjoying a holiday in Jamaica, but suddenly develops terrible constipation! He gets directions to a local clinic from the front desk, and makes a rush appointment to see the doctor: "I've got this terrible constipation; could you administer an enema for me?"

"Hoho! We don't use enema...

My phone keeps changing critical words in important texts.

Autocorrect, you've made a powerful enema today.

I shouldn't type Reddit posts on my phone.

The autocorrect is my worst enema.

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A guy is talking to his friend about his new girlfriend

"I did her up the arse on the first date" the guy reveals proudly.

"no shit?" His friend replies.

"nah, she had an enema beforehand"

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Show business

Joke, from the 1979 movie 'Saint Jack': A man goes to a doctor with a severe rash on his forearm.

The doctor asks: 'What do you do for a living?'

The man responds: 'I work at the circus. I give enemas to elephants. That means I have to stick my hand up their ass.'

The doctor ...

Dyslexic

Two doctors in practice in a small country clinic had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit. They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy...

A National Geographic journalist visits a remote village...

...on an unexplored, untouched island in the South Pacific. He is welcomed by the villagers with open arms, and a great feast in his honor is given. All the villagers and the journalist eat their fill until they cannot possibly take another bite. The journalist retires to a bed the villagers prepare...

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The last joke my grandma told me

Note: My grandmother used to call me up once a week and tell me the latest joke that she had picked up from who knows where. She passed away earlier this year and I cannot begin to say how much I miss her jokes. This one was the last one that she ever told me. It wasn't the funniest by itself bu...

Karen served wild mushrooms to the church group.

A group of country friends from the Wildwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Tom and Karen to be the hosts, Karen wanted to outdo all the others. Karen decided to have mushroom-sm...

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