Small Dog Jokes - 23 Hilarious Small Dog Jokes

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I need to Re-Home a small Dog.

It's a very small Terrier that tends to bark a lot. If you are interested.

Let me know and I will jump over my neighbours garden fence and get the fucker for you...........

What do you get when you cross a small dog with a donkey?

A Jack Russell Derrière.

In the northern hemisphere, small dogs chase their tails clockwise, but in the southern hemisphere, they chase them counter-clockwise.

This is due to the corgiolis effect.

To a store comes a woman and leaves her small dog outside and ties dog leash to something.

Then comes a man with a big and aggressive dog and does the same.

Woman walks out of the store and then comes back in, and says: "Sorry but my dog killed your dog."

Man looks all confused and says: "What? My dog is so strong and aggressive in could kill a human. How did your dog kill ...

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What do you call an animal sanctuary that breeds small dogs?

A shit zoo

What contains a small dog and an insect?

Repugnant.

Why does getting one small dog with a smushed up face lead to getting many more dogs?

It's a gateway Pug

I once tried to Frankenstein a small dog with a cow

It was a terrier bull idea.

I went to the zoo the other day and the only animal was a small dog.

It was a Shih Tzu.

I went tonthe zoo and all they had was one small dog

and an empty gorilla enclosure...

It was a shotzu.

Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first?

All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

A man tells his friend that he has a dog in a suitcase who can play the piano.

The friend says “ok let’s see it”. The man opens the suitcase and sure enough a small dog with a small piano comes out and plays the piano with great skill. As he plays a crowd gathers around to watch. After some time a female dog comes out from the crowd, picks him up by the scruff and carries him ...

Golf dog

A man invites a new friend to play a round of golf. When the arrive at the first tee, the friend has a small dog with him. At the first green the friend sinks a twenty foot putt, the little dog yaps and dances around. The man tells his friend how fantastic the dog is, then ask “What does he do ...

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all." the woman replied.

The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a...

A guy walks into a bar with his dog...

A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed."
The man says, "But this is a special dog -- he talks!"
"Yeah, right," says the bartender. "Now get out of here before...

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Me and my family recently went to a zoo

It had bad ratings on websites. When we went there it was completely empty except one small dog

It was a shit zoo

Gorilla in my tree

Last day I looked out into my garden, and I saw a gorilla sitting in on of my trees. Then I found this guy online, supposedly he should be very good at catching gorillas. After calling him he told me that he would be at my house as fast as possible. He arrives, but he only has a net, gun and a small...

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A man is standing on a street corner when a funeral procession drives by.

It consisted of 2 hearses, followed by a man with a small dog on a leash and he was followed by a long line of men in single file.

He asked the man with the small dog;

"Whose in the first hearse?"

"My wife," the man replied.

"What happened to her?" he asked.

"Dog k...

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Bear escaped from the zoo

Bear escaped from the zoo. No one can find it.

Finally, grandma calls 911: - Oh, a bear got into my yard and climbed on a tree! Take it away, I'm scared!!

A man comes with a small dog, gives grandma a rifle, points out at the dog and says: - Grandma, this is Biscuit. I'm going to clim...

An oldie, but a goodie...

Back in the days of vaudeville, a man walks into a talent agent's office with a small dog under his arm.

"This is the most amazing act you've ever seen!" he declares "What I have here is an ACTUAL TALKING DOG! Prepare to be amazed!"

With that he places the dog on the agent's desk and...

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A man calls Animal Control to get a crazed gorilla off his roof.

A van pulls up and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat and a gun. He hands the man the gun.

"OK, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in...

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The Drunk Ventriloquist

A Ventriloquist had given up on life and become a drunk vagabond, hopping trains and moving from town to town. One day he got off in a small town and on his way to the nearest bar he spotted a small dog in an alleyway. He thought, "Ah, perfect!", scooped the dog up and proceeded to the bar. Once ...

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A soldier in World War 2 had just finished serving on the front lines...

On a crowded train ride back from Germany the man is trying to find a seat but alas there is none. Finally he comes along the only open spot on a train with a womans small dog sitting in it.

"Excuse me mam I'm very tired may I sit in that spot?" The man pleads.

"Ugh you Americans are s...

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