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A dog wanted a loan for a new doghouse.

He picked up a valuable knick knack that he had sitting around and headed to the bank. Once there, he said that he wanted a loan, and was using the knick knack as collateral

The teller, named Patty Whack, looked at the knick knack and said that it wasn't valuable enough for the amount he wan...

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Professor of Logic: Norm Macdonald

Just the other week I had someone move next to me. Original neighbor died of cancer about a three month ago. So as the great neighbor I am I go to greet my new neighbor I say “Hey there uhh neighbor just dropping by to say hello, say what do you do for a living?”

He says “Nice to meet you. Im...

What do you call a doghouse without a roof?

Woofless

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....


Has anyone heard a version of this before?

For all the ladies that put your man in the doghouse...

You will soon find him in cathouse.

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in the doghouse again

I'm in the doghouse again. Last night my Mrs winked an said "If I turned the bedside lamp off, she'd take it up the arse".
I think I should of waited for the bulb to cool down a bit first!

Looks like I'm in the doghouse again..

Last night whilst the wife was asleep I swapped her tampax for a party popper.

No sense of humour whatsoever!

Building a doghouse

One day, a blonde walks by little Johnny's house. Johnny is building a new doghouse for his puppy on the front lawn. The blonde walks up to Johnny and says: "That's a nice doghouse you're building! But what is that pile of nails doing behind you?"
"Oh, those are nails which have the pointy bit o...

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Professor of Logic

So I live in a friendly neighborhood and everyone really likes to talk to their neighbours.

So This new guy moved into my neighborhood and I as a friendly neighbour introduced myself.


"Hi I'm Norm McDonald" so he says something something I don't remember his name. He asks what do y...

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Dog goes into a bank….

Dog goes into a bank, looking to secure a loan to expand his doghouse.

One of the bank loan officers comes over to assist, a Mrs Black. She sits down with the dog and starts into the loan process. Mrs. Black asks the dog, “What do you need the loan for?”

To which the dog responded,...

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A man wakes up in bed after a night of hard boozing...

His first thought is that he's in big trouble with his wife, but she waltzes into the room with a sunshiny grin and hands him a tray loaded with breakfast in bed. While he's eating, she slips under the covers and gives him a deliriously good blowjob.

"I don't get it, honey," the guy says. "I...

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Training A Puppy

We brought home a new puppy on October 29. I told the family that the puppy has to be trained in one month. I said the family rule starting November 29 is that any piss or shit on the floor means a night outside.

Sure enough, I came home last night and found piss and shit on the floor. I knew...

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel...

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. "Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse," the farmer said.

The land was tiny, and the Texan was surprised by its small size. "Is...

A man saw a sign on a farm: Talking dog for sale

He asks the farmer where the dog is.

Out back.

The man goes up to the dog, in his doghouse and says, hey what's your story?

The dog speaks: Well, as soon as I found out I could talk I wanted to be of service to my country. So I went to the CIA. They placed me as a spy in f...

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"Talking Dog for Sale"

A man is driving down the highway and sees a sign off the road that reads:

"Talking Dog for Sale. Next Exit."

He has some time to kill and is curious, so he pulls off the exit and follows the signs. The signs lead him to an old farmhouse where an old man is sitting on the porch in a ro...

The Pink Panther's To Do List

To do...To do...To do, to do, to do...To do, to doooo...

Saw this on The Doghouse Diaries today and it made me laugh...

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