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Doghouse Jokes

What do you call a German doghouse?

A bauwowhaus.

Does anyone here own a doghouse?

This guy from the University of Science told me it’s a pretty big deal.

A dog wanted a loan for a new doghouse.

He picked up a valuable knick knack that he had sitting around and headed to the bank. Once there, he said that he wanted a loan, and was using the knick knack as collateral

The teller, named Patty Whack, looked at the knick knack and said that it wasn't valuable enough for the amount he wan...

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in the doghouse again

I'm in the doghouse again. Last night my Mrs winked an said "If I turned the bedside lamp off, she'd take it up the arse".
I think I should of waited for the bulb to cool down a bit first!

What do you call a doghouse without a roof?

Woofless

For all the ladies that put your man in the doghouse...

You will soon find him in cathouse.

Looks like I'm in the doghouse again..

Last night whilst the wife was asleep I swapped her tampax for a party popper.

No sense of humour whatsoever!

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Professor of Logic: Norm Macdonald

Just the other week I had someone move next to me. Original neighbor died of cancer about a three month ago. So as the great neighbor I am I go to greet my new neighbor I say “Hey there uhh neighbor just dropping by to say hello, say what do you do for a living?”

He says “Nice to meet you. Im...

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....


Has anyone heard a version of this before?

A tip for younger married men

If your wife walks into the room and asks what you think of the dress she just bought, DO NOT ask her if it’s for Halloween.

I am in the doghouse…

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A man wakes up in bed after a night of hard boozing...

His first thought is that he's in big trouble with his wife, but she waltzes into the room with a sunshiny grin and hands him a tray loaded with breakfast in bed. While he's eating, she slips under the covers and gives him a deliriously good blowjob.

"I don't get it, honey," the guy says. "I...

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Training A Puppy

We brought home a new puppy on October 29. I told the family that the puppy has to be trained in one month. I said the family rule starting November 29 is that any piss or shit on the floor means a night outside.

Sure enough, I came home last night and found piss and shit on the floor. I knew...

A man saw a sign on a farm: Talking dog for sale

He asks the farmer where the dog is.

Out back.

The man goes up to the dog, in his doghouse and says, hey what's your story?

The dog speaks: Well, as soon as I found out I could talk I wanted to be of service to my country. So I went to the CIA. They placed me as a spy in f...

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel...

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. "Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse," the farmer said.

The land was tiny, and the Texan was surprised by its small size. "Is...

The Pink Panther's To Do List

To do...To do...To do, to do, to do...To do, to doooo...

Saw this on The Doghouse Diaries today and it made me laugh...

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"Talking Dog for Sale"

A man is driving down the highway and sees a sign off the road that reads:

"Talking Dog for Sale. Next Exit."

He has some time to kill and is curious, so he pulls off the exit and follows the signs. The signs lead him to an old farmhouse where an old man is sitting on the porch in a ro...

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