A man and his dog walk into a bar...

The man proceeds to sit on a stool and the dog quickly follows, jumping onto the next stool. The barkeep tells the man ‘Sir your dog can’t sit there!’

‘Well I reckon he can. You see, this is no ordinary dog. This dog here has the gift of speech, and that makes him my best friend. And I believ...

So Mama Rabbit and Papa Rabbit are trapped in this hollow log.

They had been chased by the old farmer's hound dogs across three field, two fences and a gulley. They never slowed down. They never gave up, but still they hadn't managed to get away. Seeing the log, they ran in as a last resort.

With a hound dog barking and yapping at either end, Mama Rabbit...

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Three guys go out to play golf

Just as they are teeing off, a lone player asks if he could join and make the group a four-some. After a couple of holes one of the golfers asks the mysterious man "so what you do for a living?" to which the loner replies "Me? I'm a hitman."

At first the other men were skeptical, but then the...

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My wife came back from walking our dog, Ashley.

The dog comes running in and sliding across the floor, and yapping...

I said, “Chill, Crazy Dog”.

Wife says, “She’s not crazy”

I said, “I was talking about the other bitch.”

Rabbi Joke (oldie)

A woman comes in to see her Rabbi and says "my husband doesn't listen to anything I say, I think he doesn't appreciate me!"

"You are right" replies the Rabbi nodding solemnly, and the woman leaves satisfied.

The next day, the husband comes into see the Rabbi and says "my wife told me t...

A dog walks into a saloon...

...and says "gimme a whiskey!" The bartender says "we don't serve dogs here." The dog looks him in the eye, says "I SAID, gimme a whiskey!!" and the bartender responds "AND I SAID, WE DON'T SERVE DOGS!", and he shoots the dog in the foot. The dog runs out yapping.

A little while later they he...

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A ship goes down at sea and two survivors wash up on the shore of an island--a man and a Chihuahua.

The only other inhabitants of the island are harmless native sheep that roam and feed aimlessly on the lush grass. Conditions are primitive, but the man and Chihuahua coexist peacefully for several years.

The man eventually comes to the realization that he will never be rescued. Sadly he beg...

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Her Majesties Corgis

One day a man was enjoying a pint at a pub located near Buckingham Palace. While he sat there, he couldn't help but notice another man drinking pint after pint with a gloomy face. Being a nice fellow, he decided to chat with the gentleman, and had the barkeep buy him a pint, as he sat next to him....

How are puppet shows and politics similar?

They are both a bunch of silly characters yapping at each other with someone else's hands up their asses.

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