Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are about to engage in a lightsaber duel, when Vader suddenly whispers, „Luke, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Luke ignores him and continues to prepare for the fight.

Vader whispers again, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."

Luke lowers from his attack stance and asks, "Ok, what are you going on about?"

• ⁠


Vader says, "I can sense your presents."

What did the lunch lady say to Luke Skywalker?

*"Use the forks, Luke."*

Why did Anakin Skywalker fail as a lawyer?

His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan are out at a Chinese restaurant and Luke is really battling trying to use the chopsticks to feed his face. After a while Obi Wan turns to him and says

"use the forks luke"

What did Anakin Skywalker get after being boned by the Emperor?

Siithylis.

Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker upload his pics to email them to Padme?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Why did anakin skywalker cross the road?

To get to the dark side.
May the 4th be with you.

Where does Luke Skywalker like to vacation?

The HimaLeah

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

Before Luke Skywalker died, he saw his mother and father before him...

His mom asked why he had blonde hair when he was young, as neither she nor anikin had it.

Luke fell silent, but before he could answer, his father answered " he was going through a rebel phase, dear"

Chewie is short for Chewbacca

Chewie is short for Chewbacca

Ani is short for Anakin Skywalker

What is Luke short for?


A stormtrooper

What does the US’s Native American policy have in common with Anakin Skywalker?

They like slaughter not just the men, but the women and the children too

What do you get when you cross Harry Potter with Luke Skywalker?

Scar Wars.

What’s Anakin Skywalkers bar name?

Darts vader

Where did Luke Skywalker go shopping between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi?

Second Hand Store

If Darth Vader was frozen in Carbonite

He would be Mannaquin Skywalker

Did you know Anakin Skywalker was Jewish?

You can tell because he cut up his force kin.

Why was Luke skywalker late to work?

He had to take an R2Detour.

What’s Luke Skywalker’s favorite car brand ?

It’s ToYoda.

Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker pay for dinner?

Because his master card got denied.

How did Luke Skywalker get around the forest moon of Endor?

Ewoked.

What’s Luke Skywalkers favorite type of retirement account?

A Hoth IRA

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Overall, "Rise of Skywalker" was okay, but there was one thing that really annoyed me all through the film-

Those fucking Chinese subtitles!

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

How does Skywalker prefer his coffee?

Lukewarm.

Whats the worst insult you can call Anakin Skywalker?

"Beach"

Why did Anakin Skywalker fail survival school?

Because when he was truly lost, he did not seek the higher ground

Bad VR star wars joke

So there's a guy playing at VR game his friend walks into the room and sees him swinging his hands around like he's swinging a lightsaber and he assumes he's playing beat saber and judging from the height of his swings there are a lot of low blocks his friend taps hin on the shoulder and says hey ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Remember that night when Anakin Skywalker chugged a shitload of beers?

The Slaughter Of The Yuenglings

C3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are taken prisoner on an alien planet

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an...

Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks...

Luke: are we on track?

Yoda: off course, we are.

What is Luke Skywalker's favorite candy?

Blue milk duds.

Why didn't Luke Skywalker's marriages ever last?

He wanted to follow Obi-Wan's advice: "Use divorce, Luke"

How does the Skywalker family like their tea?

Lukewarm

If Anakin Skywalker was from a country on Earth, where would he come from?

El Salvader

Luke Skywalker and Yoda are hopelessly lost on their journey...

Luke: Yoda, we've been walking for hours! Are you sure that we're going the right way?

Yoda: For the tenth time, told you, I have! Off course, we are!

What do you call Luke Skywalker's futuristic frying pan?

An e-wok

Last night I partied like Anakin Skywalker.

I killed a dozen Yuengling.

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are engaged in a light saber battle...

...when suddenly Darth grabs Luke by the tunic and pulls him close. "Luke, I know what you are getting for Christmas", he says to the young Jedi.

"How? How could you possibly know what I am getting for Christmas?" Luke says skeptically.

Vader replies: "Because, I felt your presents."

What dressing does Luke Skywalker put on a porg before eating it?

Skywalker Ranch

How does Anakin Skywalker check his mail?

He uses a C3 PO Box

Why did Luke Skywalker never marry?

Because he was busy riding Solo

Why did Anakin Skywalker hate bed time?

Because that's when the sandman came.

And not just the sand man but the sand woman and and children too

What do you call a nervous jedi?

Panikin Skywalker

How come does Luke Skywalker does not have a girlfriend?

He was looking for love in Alderaan places

An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker’s last pastry.

Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, “Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!”

I guess you could say Luke Skywalker single-handedly defeated the empire.

I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny.

Luke Skywalker went to the Jedi temple

Obi-Wan Kenobi's force ghost materialized and noticed that Master Luke seemed perturbed, and so asked him what the matter was.

Luke replied "Ben, my life outside the Jedi Order is in shambles. It's mainly my marriage. It started off great, but something's changed in recent times. Drastical...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Luke Skywalker and a black man?

Luke Skywalker eventually finds out who his father is.

So Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are locked in their final showdown...

...light sabers are flashing, the balance is delicate, but suddenly Luke knocks Darth's weapon away. As it's skidding out of reach, Luke moves in for the final blow. Quickly, Darth holds up a hand and says "Luke, wait! I need to tell you something". Luke, sensing a trap, asks why he should do such a...

What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer?

Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself.

After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister...

He became best friends with hand solo.

Obi Wan Kenobi decides he wants a change of pace so decides to put his skills into becoming a marriage councillor.

One day a familiar face pops in, Luke Skywalker. Luke sits down an immediately bursts into tears as his new wife is absolutely awful. For three hours Luke talks, almost non stop, about all the horrible things she does to him - putting green milk in his cereal, signing him up to the Jar-Jar fanclub, ...

Luke Skywalker goes to eat at an Italian restaurant, finishes dinner then orders desert.

Only one canoli.

Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs...

He used excessive force

my favorite star wars character is luke skywalker

hand down

Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner...

.... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2 “Oh I’m definitely ordering that!” Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes.

Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the...

I’ve been watching the Star Wars movies, and I realized something

It’s not that big of a shock that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.


I mean, they have the same no’s.

My girlfriend and I finally decided to try out role-play in the bedroom. I dressed up like Luke Skywalker

And she pretended to be a dead fish.

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader were having a lightsaber battle...

...and Luke is getting demolished. He knows that unless he does something drastic, he's going to lose.

So, thinking quickly, he says to his opponent, "Darth Vader, I know what you're getting for Christmas."

Darth Vader hesitates for a moment and says, "How do you know?"

Luke re...

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

(snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...

What's yellow and turns to the dark side?

Bananakin Skywalker.

which TV/movie character can use the power of the force and the power of potassium?

Bananakin Skywalker!

What were Anakin and Padme watching on their wedding night?

The rise of Skywalker.

[StarWars] What Do You Get When You Cross a Jedi and a Mannequin?

**Manakin Skywalker**

If Darth Vader said "Nothing's gonna stop us now" instead of "There will be no one to stop us this time..."

Would that make him Mannequin Skywalker?

In Star Wars Episode I, we learn (spoilers)

That Anakin Skywalker has no father, the midichlorians caused his birth.



I guess his mom was forced into it.

Jesus thought he was cool when he walked on water until...

He met Luke, a Skywalker.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, fi...

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