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Sickipedia Jokes

Today I saw someone waving but I ...

Today I saw someone waving but I wasn't sure if they were waving at me or someone behind me.

I'm a terrible lifeguard.

___


xpost- r/sickipedia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have?

Huge tits.


Stolen from sickipedia but I have seen it 5 times and it still makes me smile, just wanted to share

If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady...

That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Courtesy of Milton Jones, more jokes of his here. Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/search?q=Milton%20Jones#ixzz3DeZDequD

My wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits

She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory.


[Courtesy of Sickipedia](http://www.sickipedia.org/crime/animal-cruelty/the-wifes-insisting-i-quit-my-job-because-she-thinks-1671352#ixzz3wm6CrZd5)

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story.

I think that something scary is about to happen, I can feel it.





^Courtesy ^of ^**[Sickipedia.org](http://www.sickipedia.org/illness-and-mortality/blindness/ive-just-started-reading-my-first-ever-braille-horror-story-1557855)**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife and I went to a bank robbers-themed fancy dress party last night...

Well I did and I had a fucking great night !

She had to stay in the car, keeping the car engine running.

credit: r/sickipedia

Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and..

.. now I'm in a world of pain :D

(source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)

My new housemate is French...

My new housemate is French. Last night when he got home I said, "Nice to know you're from France.. My favourite place is North of France, actually.."

"Let me guess," he said, "Lille.. Arras.. or maybe Côte d'Opale?.."

"No, England." I replied.

Source:

http:/...

My last girlfriend was a screamer...

Well, she wasn't really my girlfriend.

Actually, that might be why she was screaming.

Source: r/sickipedia

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world."

*Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world*

[Source!] (http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/american/im-american-and-im-sick-of-people-saying-america-is-105756)

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