What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next
year.

A Sicilian actuary can give you their names . . . .

The Don of the local Mafia’s phone rang

It was his favorite nephew.

“Uncle, the cops are closing in on me. I’m going to be arrested.”

“Thank you for telling me,” said the Don, “Be a good Sicilian don’t talk until our lawyer gets there.”

“What if they beat me?

“Don’t worry, it’s easy not to talk. Just sit on yo...

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WHat's the difference between a Sicilian mafioso and a man from Alabama ?

The Sicicilian mafioso doesn't live long enough to fuck his family a second time.

Can a Sicilian marry a Sardinian?

Yes, of Corsican!

Sicilian reasoning

One lovely summer an italian couple go on holiday to Sicily with their two kids. They park their car close to the seaside, unload their swimsuits, towels and buckets and happily walk to the beach. As they sit down on the sand, Giorgio (dad) suddenly remembers that he left his sunglasses in the car...

Sicilian saying

"When you wake up with four balls, your enemy is behind you."

As soon as Don Cappelli and his thugs entered Mario’s restaurant

...all of the guests immediately stopped what they were doing and quietly left. Don Cappelli’s face was very well-known around the city, and while he was ‘saving’ business after business from going bankrupt and helping families at their time of need, nobody dared ask where his money came from, nor d...

Why are there so few Jehovah's Witnesses in Sicily?

Sicilians aren't keen about witnesses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

French, Italian and Russian are talking about their sex lives

French says: "When I get down with my woman, I can get her satisfied. I just slowly undress her latest Parisian fashion garments, and softly whisper of all the dirty things I will do to her. When I get going, she screams all night."

Italian replies: "That's nothing. When my lady and I start t...

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How can tell if there's an Italian at the cockfight?

He brings the duck

How can you tell if there's a Sicilian at the cockfight?

He bets on the duck

How can you tell if the Mafia is at the cockfight?

The duck wins

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