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How does carbon dioxide make soda so bubbly?

By obeying the laws of fizz-ics.

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What does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in?

Theoretical fizz-ics.

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What do you call a sports competition for the crippled?

The O*limp*ics

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When the paramedics asked if I knew my injured ex-girlfriend’s blood type, I gave them the wrong one.

Now she’ll get to know what rejection feels like

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