Shot Glass Jokes - 56 Hilarious Shot Glass Jokes

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Man is sitting in a bar staring at a shot glass, while a bartender cleans the table.

Suddenly a biker sits next to the man, grabs the shot and drinks it in one gulp before slamming the glass back in front of the man.

The man stares the glass for a second before bursting in hysterical sobs. Both the bartender and the biker stare at the man in suprise.

The bartender quic...

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A guy in a bar bets the bartender $50 that he can lick his eyeball

The bartender agrees

The man takes his glass eye out, and bites it

The bartender angrily gives the man his money

The man bets the bartender $500 dollars that he can bite his other eyeball too

The bartender agrees to the bet, because the man was not blind

The man pu...

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A cat walks into a bar.

He’s having a bad day. He asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey. The bartender puts it on the counter and the cat slowly nudges the shot glass onto the floor breaking the shot glass. The cat looks up at the bartender and says leave the bottle. I’m not done yet.

My wife was wondering why her shot glass was broken.

Doesn't she know glass brakes when you put a bullet in it.

A woman walks into the kitchen and sees her husband drinking from a shot glass at 7am...

Her:”A bit early to be drinking isn’t it?”
Him:”It’s tea”
Her:”What kind of tea do you drink from a shot glass?”
Him:”Tea-quilla”

From my 10 year old son.

Ps. I can stop drinking anytime I want.

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A man walks into a bar, he goes up to the bartender and asks him if he likes to gamble.

A man walks into a bar...

He goes up to the bartender and asks him if he likes to gamble.

The bartender says, "Sure, I'll take a bet. What's your action?"

The man offers a $50 bet that he can bite his own eyeball. The bartender, thinking it's easy money, accepts his bet, and is ...

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots

The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up.

The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.”

The bartender looks a little confused, but lines of 12 more shots.

The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”

The bart...

A customer walks up to the bar…

And the customer proposes a vet he says “I’ll bet you £2,000 that I could pee in that shot glass across the bar from here

Strangely the barman agrees so the customer tries and fails and the barman says “haha pay up”

The customer pays the barman £2,000 and started to laugh

Happ...

My Favorite Cowboy Joke

A cowboy walks into a bar. He says to the barkeep, “I’ll have a shot of your best tequila.”

The bartender serves him the tequila and he knocks it back, slams the shot glass on the bar, and shouts, “T.G.I.F.”

A Latino man, sitting across the bar from the cowboy, orders a shot of the sam...

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A young guy walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila for himself and drinks them quickly one after the other, loudly slamming the shot glass on the bar when he finishes each.

The bartender says, "Hey, what's the special occasion?"
The young guy says, "My first blowjob."
The bartender then says, "Congrats my young friend, the next shot is on me!"
And then the young guy says, "If 10 shots of tequila won't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will!"

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A big, burly dude walks into a bar...

He walks right up to the middle of the bar and orders a shot of the cheapest whiskey they have. He grabs the shot glass, and before he drinks it, he looks to the people on his right and says, "You're all a bunch of cock suckers!" They all sit there stunned. He orders another shot, and before he d...

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"Long Shots" (long)

A bartender was tending his bar, as one does, when a drunk patron approaches him and orders a pint of beer, plus a couple shots for himself and the bartender... The bar was relatively unpopulated, save for a few sitting along the bar and a booth of 5 gentlemen in the far corner, loudly joking and la...

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Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says:
"When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot.
When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."
The...

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A guy walks into a bar and slaps $1000 on the bar top.

The guy says to the bartender, "I bet you $1000 that I can piss from one side of this bar top into a shot glass on the other side without spilling a single drop."

The bartender says, "I don't think that's possible, I'll take that bet."

The bartender sets up a shot glass at the end of t...

An American walks into an Irish pub, he asks the bartender for an Irish Car Bomb.

The bartender grimaces, "Excuse me?"

The man smiles, "It's a drink, you don't have those? Irish car bombs?"

The bartender lights up and replies, "Oh I have something similar, one moment!"

He then takes two tall shot glasses side by side, fills them with vodka, and lights them af...

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A young man walks into a bar and orders ten whiskeys...

The bartender is skeptical, but obliges. He lines the shot glasses up and pours the whiskey. The man then downs all ten shots one after the other, with no pause.

"What's the occasion," asks the bartender.

"My first blowjob," replies the young man.

The bartender smiles. "Well, ...

A guy runs into a bar says to the bartender

"Quick! Give me 50 shots of your best whiskey!"

The bartender lays out 50 shot glasses and fills them with the best whiskey he has.

The man pounds them down, one immediately after another.

After the last glass, the bartender says "Wow! I've never seen anyone take that many shots...

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A guy walks up to a bartender with $10,000 in cash.

He says, "Hey bartender, I've got a bet for you. I bet you this ten grand that you can put this shot glass at the other end of the bar, and I can piss in it from over here without spilling a single drop."

The bartender ponders and ponders, and finally decides this is iron clad. No way he can ...

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A man goes into a bar...

...and walks up to the bartender and says “Bar keep, a shot of your finest whiskey!”. The bartender grabs a bottle of his finest whiskey and pours the man a shot. As fast as he poured is as fast as the man drank the shot. He slammed the glass down and requested another. The bartender poured the man ...

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Guy walk up to the bartender...

He takes a shot glass and slams it on the bar and says to the bartender. "I bet you 200 bucks I can stand 10 feet away, piss into that shot glass and fill it to the top without getting a drop anywhere else in the bar."

The bartender laughs at the man and agrees to the bet, thinking he'll make...

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A young man who barely looks of age walks into a bar...

...and orders a shot of whiskey. After checking his ID, the bartender pours him one. The young man grabs the shot glass and throws it back, slams it down on the counter and orders another.

The bartender pours it and again the young man slams it back and demands one more.
The bartender rel...

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A drunk man approaches the bartender...

And he says, I bet you $100 I can stand on one end of the bar, and piss into a shot glass at the other end without making any mess at all.

The bartender laughs, and assumes there will be a little mess but for $100, cleaning it up wouldn't be a bad wage, so he agrees.

The man places the...

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A man walks into a bar...

"Hey bartender! I bet you 50 bucks I can spit on my own eye!"

It being a slow night, the bartender accepts the bet. The man then immediately pulls out his glass eye and hocks a loogie on it.

"Bullshit!" Yells the bartender. "I'm not paying you jack for that!"

Without skipping ...

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A man walks into a bar with a shoebox

He walks up to the bartender, sets the shoebox on the bar, and orders a beer and an empty shot glass. The bartender brings him his beer and watches as he then fills the shot glass with the beer and takes the lid off of the shoebox.

Out of the box he removes a small piano and a little bench, ...

The man says to the bartender...

"Gimme twelve shots of your finest whiskey, and fast!"
The bartender lines up a dozen shot glasses and as he fills them, the man starts to down them one after the other.
Shocked, the bartender asks, "What's the hurry, buddy?"
Between shots, the man replies, "You'd drink fast too, if y...

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An old man walks over to the bartender...

and says to him, "Young man, I'm a bit of a gambling man, and if you're willing to make a bet, I'll wager $10,000 I can bite my left eye." The bartender calls the man's bluff and takes the bet. The old man then proceeds to remove his glass eye and bite it. The bartender was bitter.

He then sa...

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Two guys walk into a bar

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"

One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of your finest beer that I can lick my eye."

The barkeep says, "I've had guys come in here that could...

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A doctor, a psychologist, and a mathematician go to a horse race.

They all make their bets and plan to meet at their favorite watering hole after the race to compare their results. The doctor arrives last, orders a round for the group saying:

"I sure cleaned up! Lake Cookie was pegged for second place so I snuck into his stable just before the race and juic...

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Best Bar Joke Ever?

A guy walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender, "I want to make a bet with you," the guy says. The bartender says "ok watcha got?" " I bet you $500 that I can bite my right eye." Bartender looks at the man all crazy but agrees to the bet. The guy then takes out his dentures and bites his r...

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An old bum stumbles into a bar...

An old bum stumbles into a bar and saddles up at the bar. He slaps the bar top and yells to the bartender “Keep! Get me a shot o’ 20 year-old scotch!”. The bartender is busy wiping down glasses and casually reaches underneath the bar, grabs the first bottle his hand gets to, pours a shot and sets...

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A man walks into a bar and orders a drink...

When the bartender gave him the drink the man took out his wallet to pay for his beverage. The bartender was shocked to see all of the cash that he held in his wallet for it was bulging with hundred dollar bills! The bartender in shock asked the man...

"Damn son, whats with all the cash on yo...

A well-dressed man walks into a bar.

He takes a seat at the bar, and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

"I'd like a shot of 25-year-old scotch, neat."

The bartender was too lazy to go into the stockroom for 25-year-old scotch, and he figured the man wouldn't know the difference, so he poured a shot of 8-year-old scot...

A man walks into a bar and orders 8 shots of vodka

The bartender lines up the shot glasses and starts pouring them out, and as soon as one's filled the man slams it down.

"Woah take it easy there buddy, we're open all night", says the bartender

"You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I've got"

"Ah I'm sorry to hear that...

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A guy walks into a bar

Tells the bartender "I'll bet you $100.00 I can chug your biggest pitcher of beer in less than 10 seconds"
Bartender gives him a gallon pitcher and the guy chugs it in 9 seconds so bartender pays him.
A little while later the guy says "I'll bet you another $100.00 I can chug two of those pitch...

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Two men walk into a bar

one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."

The bartender laug...

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A man walks into a bar

and seats himself at the bar and spots a big jug full of money behind the bar on the shelf with a note on it " Ask the bartender"

So the guy ask the bartender " What's with the jug full of money?"

Bartender says" well it's a series of challenges. First you have to do 10 shots of this...

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A guy coming in the bar makes a 50$ bet. ( this is a very long joke so sorry about that.)

He says to the bartender if I can put my eye in my mouth you have to give me 50$. The bartender says sure I’ll make that deal, so the guy takes out his eye and says glass eye and puts it in his mouth. The bartender is visibly angry and the guy says. If I can put my other eye in my mouth it’s another...

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A man orders a coke at a bar

Every Saturday for the last 10 years a man goes into a bar and says "I can't don't like alcohol, can I just get coke?" The bartender obliges then asks the man, "Hey, let me make you just one drink to try, I know you'll like it. It's just rum and coke."

After being heckled the man responds, "...

12 Shots

A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up twelve shots of whiskey. The bartender places twelve shot glasses on the table and begins to fill them.
Halfway through, the man starts grabbing the shots and slamming them back in rapid succession, finishing the last one just after the ...

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Three vampires walk into a bar.

The vampires sit down and greet the vampire bartender. The bartender asks, "what will you be having?" The first vampire says, "give me a shot of blood." The bartender fills a shot glass with blood and hands it to him. The bartender then asks the second vampire, "what would you like?" The second vamp...

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A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and bets the bartender $200 he can take his eye out of his head. The bartender agrees, thinking it impossible, but the man takes out his eye, revealing it to be glass.

The man then bets the bartender $500 he can bite his own eye. The bartender agrees, only for him...

Guy walks into a bar...

Guy walks into a bar and promptly orders 12 shots of the best whiskey.
As the bartender lines up the shot glasses and fills them, the man hurriedly begins downing each. With only a few shots left, the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking down all these in a row buddy?" He answered, "You would be...

A man walks into a bar leading a pony on a harness...

Bartender says to the man "You can't bring that pony in here."

Man replies, "This is a special pony. He pays for all my drinks. See, I bet you, the bartender, that my pony can recite every letter of the alphabet after each shot of whiskey he drinks. You won't believe me, so you take that bet....

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A guy walks up to the bar and asks the bartender if he is a betting man

"What might we be betting on?" asks the bartender.
The man replies, "I bet you one thousand dollars that I can put a shot glass on the end of the bar down there, come back over here and piss into it and not miss a drop."
The bartender thinks for a minute and then decides, "I think I'd pay a th...

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Willie the bridge builder

An old man is sitting at the bar when a young patron walks in. He notices the old man has quite a few empty shot glasses in front of him. He approaches the old man and says, "Hello sir, I don't mean to be nosy but you sure have a lot of empty shot glasses there. What's the matter?" The old man looks...

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Roger the Living Head [Story Joke]

So there's this newly married couple, and they love each other quite a bit. So they decide they're going to have a child. Nine months goes by and it's time for the child to be delivered, but when the doctors pull the baby out, it is only a head. It's still crying and healthy, but it has no body besi...

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A disheveled man with a backpack stumbles into a bar,

Pulls up a stool, drops the backpack at his feet, and ushers the bartender over.

“What can I get for you sir?” The bartender polishes a small glass and looks the bedraggled man up and down.

“Hey,” The man ushers him closer conspiratorially, obviously slightly intoxicated. “I want to ma...

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An Irishman's first blow job [slightly nsfw]

A middle aged Irishman walks up to a bar before noon and asks for six shots of whiskey.

Concerned, the bartender asks, "Uhm. Is this all for you? I don't see any friends with you. It's awful early."

The Irishman nods and smiles. "Yes yes. Only me."

The bartender pla...

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Dracula walks into a bar...

He sits down and speaks to the Bartender

Dracula: May I please have a cup of hot water and a spoon?

Bartender: Wait, aren't you Dracula the vampire?

Dracula: Of course I am. I can see that my reputation precedes me.

Bartender: But, if you a vampire why do you want hot wat...

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A man goes up to a bartender...

A man goes up to a bartender and says, "I bet you $500 that I can pee into a shot glass on your bar while standing on that stool over there."

The bartender looks at him, looks at the stool and says with a smile, "Go for it."

So the guy gets up on the stool and proceeds to pee all over ...

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A man sits down at a bar and orders ten shots of vodka

When the bartender finishes pouring them out the man pushes away the first and last shot glass. Another patron, sitting next to him, quietly observes the man doing the exact same thing three times before he gathers up the courage to ask why he doesn't drink the first and last one.

The man loo...

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If you had what he had, you'd do it too.

A well-dressed man runs into a bar and says to the bartender in a hurried voice, "Quick! I need 7 shots of your best, top shelf whiskey as fast as you can pour it!" The bartender grabs some 12-year-old bourbon and pours it into 7 shot glasses. The man downs all of the shots, one after the other. ...

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The Wagerer

A guy walks into a bar, is seen by the bartender wandering from table to table, occasionally making them laugh, occasionally getting a scowl and pocketing a few dollars. Finally, he makes his way to the bar and sits down. "Whats all that about?" asks the barkeep

"Oh, I'm a professional wagere...

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A man walks into a bar for a drink...

...up on the top floor of a fancy building. He sits down at the bar and orders a high end beer. As he's drinking, he notices a bum sitting in a dark corner at the end of the bar starring at him. He gives the bum a dirty look and shakes his head before returning to his drink. Suddenly the bum yells t...

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A bar contest goes awry

A businessman from out of town comes across a secluded bar on the outskirts of the city he's visiting, so he stops in for a drink. While at the bar he notices a large a shot glass the size of a water bucket filled with twenty dollar bills. Curious, the man motions for the bartender, "What's the stor...

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A mother is concerned about her sons future

... so she goes to here priest and says "father, I'm concerned for my boy! He doesn't seem to have any ambitions and I'm concerned he won't amount to anything!"
So the father says to her "do not worry, take me to your home and I shall put your mind at ease."
So she takes him to her house and...

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