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Schrodinger's Jokes

I identify as Schrodinger's cat

My pronouns are is/isn't.

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's Dog and Schrodinger's Cat

She said it rang a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not.

Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree

He's wanted dead and alive

Have you seen "Schrodinger's Cat the Movie"?

It doesn't have any showing times. You buy a ticket but won't know if it is playing or not until you walk into the theater.

I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure...

So I took a trip to the library to see if they
had a copy.


The librarian said that my description rang a
bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

I ran the double slit experiment a dozen times with two of Schrodinger's cats.

Now my lab is full of interfering kittens..

In Schrodinger's time, was it considered ethical to use live cats in physics experiments?

Well -- it was and it wasn't.

Have you heard of Schrodinger's cake?

You can have it and eat it.

As long as no one looks.

Schrodinger's Crush:

Before you ask her out, she is both single and taken

Schrodinger's Pizza

You don't know until you get it whether its delivery, or Digiorno's

Schrodinger's Virus

We all have Schrodinger's Virus now.

Because we can't get tested, we can't know whether we have the virus or not.

We have to act as if we have the virus so that we don't spread it to others.

We have to act as if we've never had it cause if we didn't have it we are not immune....

I feel bad for Schrodinger's cat

But at the same time I don't

schrodinger's joke.

It's funny and not funny at the same time, until you tell it to someone.

what does Schrodinger's 101th experiment looks like?

1 not 1

Schrodinger's fart

Apparently Schrodinger had a lousy sense of smell.

Only way he could tell if the fart smelled bad, was if he did it into a box with a cat.

Did you hear about Schrodinger's missing luggage?

It was an open and shut case.

Did you hear about the new show "Schrodinger's Bullet"?

It's hit and miss.

Schrodinger's Cat is depressed

Cat: No one came to my birthday party/funeral

Schrodinger's khakis are in a box. They might be ironed or, they might not. Either way...

... It's a pair o' Dock's

Heisenberg & Schrodinger

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are speeding along in Schrodinger's car, a police man pulls them over and asks the driver, Heisenberg, if he knows how fast he was going, to this Heisenberg replies
"I do not know how fast I was going, because I know exactly where I am"
After this weird answer the p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Descartes are driving, and get pulled over.

Heisenberg is in the driver's seat, the officer asks "do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know exactly where I am!" The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!" Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now I'm lost!"

...

TIL that Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered from a debilitating bowel condition that would often result in him soiling himself unexpectedly.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he had had an accident, and lived in a perpetual state of both being soiled and unsoiled simultaneously.

This became known as Schrodinger's Scat.

A cop pulls Schrodinger over off of the highway...

... The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks up to Schrodinger's car. He says to Schrodinger, "Hey, don't you work at the university around here?" Schrodinger replies "why, yes." The cop asks Schrodinger "I know the university is pretty rowdy and likes to party. Do you mind if I look around your ca...

Did you know that Erwin Schrodinger's funeral was closed casket?

He was buried (|Dead> + |Alive>) / sqrt(2)

How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox?

By thinking outside the box

Nerdy physics and psychology joke thought I'd share.

I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. Sounded good so I decided to go down to the library to see if they've got it. Looked around and couldn't see it so I asked the librarian if they have it in, she repl...

I woke up today and I thought, today I would tell my colleagues a joke

about schrodinger's dead cat.

Then I thought maybe, I will tell a joke about schrodinger's alive cat.

So I decided not to go to office today.

I called my friend at 2 in the afternoon and...

he answered the phone groggily, so I asked if he was sleeping. He said "uhhh, yes and no". So I asked if he was taking a Schrodinger's Cat nap. *crickets*

Mo' Engineer vs Zen master

**One**

Engineer: My heart is filled with depression

Zen master: Young man, your depression is trivial like a single line on a paper, there are still a lot of space you can fill the paper with.

The engineer drew a Peano curve.

**Two**

Engineer: Master, they say I a...

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