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Resuscitation Jokes

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My favorite joke

I went to go visit my friend Chuck on his farm out in Greater Minnesota, and he's showing off his barn, crops, and livestock. When we get to the swine corral, there's an enormous boar... with three wooden legs.

So I ask him, "why does that pig have three wooden legs?"

"Well, Steve, tha...

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Blowing Smoke

Two Firemen were having anal sex in a smoke filled room. Suddenly, the Fire Chief walks in. "What the hell is going on here?" asks the Chief.
The 1st Fireman tries to explain that his partner had "Smoke Inhalation".
The Chiefs yells, "You're supposed to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation".<...

How did Minnie save Mickey from drowning?

Mouse to mouse resuscitation.

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Paul and Barry...

Paul and Barry were out walking past a lake.

They saw a pregnant woman swimming suddenly get into difficulty and started to drown, quickly they pulled her to safety.

She wasn't breathing so Barry starts giving her a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Paul quickly opens her legs and puts h...

Spring Fishing

Three guys were out fishing and drinking beer one fine early Spring morning. The lake's ice was now completely melted and the sun shone bright. As one of the guys stood to pee he lost his balance and teetered overboard. When he hadn't surfaced after a few moments one of his friends dove in to try ...

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Two firemen...(NSFW)

Two firemen are butt-fucking in a smoke-filled room. The chief walks in and says, "What the hell is going on here?". One of the firefighters says, "Johnson here was suffering from smoke inhalation, sir!" The chief says, "Smoke inhalation? You treat that with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" And the fi...

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Three disabled swimmers are competing in one tournament

First does not have legs, judges is asking him how he is going to swim he answers "You will see" and he is thrown into the water. He finishes the race using only his arms.
Second one does not have arms, again judge asks him how he is going to do it, he replies "You will see". He is jumps in to t...

Shipwrecked

A man was shipwrecked on an isolated island with nobody for company except his faithful dog. Many months passed and life was getting monotonous until one day he spotted a sheep on the other side of the island.


Slowly approaching the sheep, he managed to get it into position and was abou...

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Four men go hunting...

They split up into pairs and hunt in different areas. Later, two of the hunters come across the other pair to find one hunter bent over a tree stump with the other fucking him in the ass.

Shocked, the other hunters yell, "What the hell are you doing?"

The hunter who is doing the fucki...

Three guys are in a boat on a lake in Minnesota, fishing.

It's an extremely hot day so they drink a lot of cold beers. One of them stands up to relieve himself over the side, and he falls in and sinks. After a minute, the other two dive in and look for him. Finally one of them finds him at the bottom of the lake, and hauls him to the surface, where the two...

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The Firemen (told by my aunt at Christmas. NSFW)

So two firemen are buttfucking in a smoke filled room...

The fire chief is outside wondering what is taking so long so he storms upstairs, throws open the the door, sees the men, and screams, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?!"

One fireman looks away from his business and calmly say...

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