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Ref Jokes

Why doesn’t the NFL like having women refs?

Because they would bring up penalties from two years ago.

What do you call an American in the world cup final.

Ref

The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ...

even if it isn't Messi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Understood?

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old ice hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or loose, but how we play...

I was about to be given a yellow card for punching another player in the face, but then the ref noticed I was an amputee.

No arm, no foul.

How many NBA refs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they only screw playoff games.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because he heard the Ref was blowing fowls!

Charles III

Charles: *orders* GET ME A F’ing CUP OF TEA! Two Sugar. Asap.

Servant: *mumbles* who died and made you King..!?

World cup for firefighters

There was this world cup for firefighters(WCF) and the ref's would set a buliding on fire,and the team that stops the fire the fastest wins.

First up were the Germans.They come with some ladders and pipes filled with water.They stop the within 30 min.

Second are the Americans.Again wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had a bowel problem one day and goes to see his proctologist.

"What seems to be the problem?", asked the doctor

"Well, ever since the Packers got that bad ref call during yesterday's game, my gut has been acting up"

"Bad ref call?" Replied the doctor, while preparing his instruments. "I was watching that game too, but it didn't look bad at all!"<...

A beautiful woman has a car accident.

I could tell you how it ends, but you'd be better off reading the version /u/H343now1 posted:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/936pgk/a\_rabbi\_and\_a\_priest\_get\_into\_a\_car\_accident\_and/?ref=share&ref\_source=link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/936pgk/a_rabbi_and_...

A football fan appears in court for battery

The judge says to the fan: So you are very sure you only threw tomatoes at the referee?

The fan: yes, your honour. I'm very sure.

The Judge: Then how do you explain the deep cuts and bruises on the referees face?

(The judge points at the refs battered face.)

The fan: yeah...

A man walks into a bar in New Orleans

He sits down next to a man in a jacket. Both of them are watching a preview of the upcoming nfc championship. They both start debating over who will win, and the debate turns into an argument. The man says “100 bucks my saints win!” “Your on” replied the man as he unzipped his coat to reveal black a...

What does patriots stand for

Pay
All
The
Refs
In
Order
To
Succeed

LeBron James yelled "F&%@# YOU!" as he collided with the opponent while driving to the hoop with the ball. However the opponent had both feet planted.

The refs found the foul to be offensive.

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

Because they like to push two twins together to make a king.

(Game of Thrones ref)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tales from the front line

Back in my Army days (mid 80s) we were on a winter training exercise with the medical battalion. Our platoon was assigned the job of being casualties for the treatment company.

They assigned us our roles told us what injuries we were supposed to have sustained then dispatched us out in the Bu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Old Teammate Ron.

So when I was in high school we had a standout basketball player (Ron) who was destined to be in the NBA in his life. As a sophomore, he was 6'7" 230, super athletic and was a star in any sport he played, but he loved basketball the most. One night he was out celebrating after a win and his buddy wa...

The college basketball team at Indiana University had just finished their worst season in school history.

The head coach, Bob, knew the team needed a different approach next year.

In the off season, Bob was driving around town when he saw a panhandler at a stoplight, and realized that this panhandler was around college age, and looked close to 7 feet tall. Bob stopped his car to talk to him and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are watching the Kentucky Derby.

One of the guys, Jeff, is there, bragging about how he has a really fast dog that can almost beat the horses. He bets everyone there 300$ that their pets can’t beat his dog in a race. The other guy, Steve, is wearing a trench coat. Steve walks up to Jeff and takes him up on the bet.

After the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Redneck

Two rednecks, Jake and Bubba, were sitting in a bar one night watching
rasslin' on the tube. At the end of the match was an advertisement.
A loud, obnoxious character came on screaming about $10,000 dollars in
prize money for anyone who could defeat "The Killer".

Jake looked at Bubb...

Is your refrigerator running?

Because I'd vote for it.

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